Healing the Broken
by kizukatana
Summary: The war is over, and Sasuke was brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. With all his goals of vengeance either completed or destroyed, can Sasuke find something to anchor him? And will Naruto still be willing to help him? Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). CANON - Post manga chapter 693.
1. Chapter 1 - Help

**Summary: **The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

**Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) **language, angst,** mental illness, substance abuse**, masturbation, eventual **sex.** Not appropriate for young readers. 18+

**Disclaimer** - As with everything I write on this site, I don't own the characters (Kishimoto does), and I make no money. My only payment is in reviews.

**Author's note** - This fic started as a **CHAPTERS 692 and 693**. I was really mad at Sasuke, and I needed to work my head around whether I really believed that Sasuke x Naruto still made sense. I am re-editing this note after writing chapter 6 to just reaffirm that YES, I do still believe in this couple (ignoring ch 700 and the movie for the rest of my life). As a warning, this is Canon!Sasuke. Which means he is mentally unstable (queue maniacal laughter after killing Danzo, and pretty much all his actions since then), and not warm and fuzzy. Not sexually experienced. Totally emotionally jacked up. So. That is what we have here. If substance abuse is a trigger for you, or if you have issues with people having sex while under the influence and view it as **dubcon/noncon**, DON'T READ THIS FIC. This might be a temporary story (**up for a limited time**) especially if it completely sucks, but I am writing it anyway so I thought I might as well post it. I just need to... work some issues out before I ruin all my other stories.

Right now, I just really need canon!Sasuke and canon!Naruto to have sex. And I need Sasuke to be a suffering, fucked up mess, and only Naruto can help him. That is like... the whole point of this story (judge me if you want to... don't care). I also need Naruto to be a good person, and faithful to his beliefs, something that appears to erode in post 699 canon and kills me.

-xXx-

Naruto sat in the Hokage's office, looking blankly between the large-breasted blond and his former sensei.

He had just returned from a six week mission, and he was exhausted. So he told himself that he must be hearing this wrong. Surely his Kakashi and the Old Hag weren't actually asking him to...

"But why not just send one of the nurses, or one of the physical therapists to help him? Why not Sakura?" Hell, Sakura would _kill_ to be asked to... do whatever it was the Tsunade was asking Naruto to do.

Tsunade cleared her through and glanced down slightly. "Sakura immediately volunteered, naturally. But even when he's... not fully in control of his faculties, Sasuke is quite skilled. Not to mention the sharingan. He is simply too dangerous for anyone else to handle."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. He could tell when the Old Hag was trying to gloss over something. Especially when it came to Sakura. "What did he do to Sakura?"

Kakashi shrugged. "He threw her against the wall. Broke her arm. Then put her into a genjutsu that she was being buried alive in a pit of snakes for three days."

Naruto blinked. That sounded thorough, though he supposed it could have been much worse. Given that it was Sasuke they were talking about. "What did Sakura do to trigger that?"

Tsunade's lips tightened. Kakashi glanced at her, then rolled his eyes. "Sakura might have been a bit... _overenthusiastic_ to help test this approach on Sasuke."

"Did she... she didn't... she wouldn't..." Naruto stammered, hoping Sakura didn't try to do what he thought she might have.

Tsunade poured herself a glass of sake, and downed it quickly. "We learned not to have any of the women of the village involved in this. The Uchiha tends to bring out the worst in their behavior. Regardless of how they feel about him as a ninja, as a man he... remains desirable."

"What about _you_?" Naruto persisted. "You aren't going to try to rape him. _And_ you have extensive medical knowledge. _And_ you are experienced enough that you could avoid his genjutsu or block his attacks, especially if he's as wasted as you say he is most of the time."

Tsunade sighed. "This type of therapy works best when administered by someone who actually cares for the patient. Or at least someone who can fake it. There is no love lost between me and the Uchiha brat. He knows it, and I know it. It has to be someone he trusts. Or at least someone he will tolerate."

Naruto wasn't sure there was anyone left alive who fit that description, now that Itachi was dead.

"Kakash' Sensei could -" Naruto began half-heartedly, only to be cut off abruptly.

"NO!" Tsunade said, bringing the flat of her hand down hard enough to leave a long crack down the center of her desk. "We are not sending the most perverted ninja in the village try therapeutic touch techniques on arguably the most intimacy averse person in the Fire country."

Naruto almost laughed at the thought of Sasuke blearily waking up to find Kakashi massaging his naked back, or whatever it was that Tsunade was about to suggest he do.

But then he realized that if it wasn't going to be Kakashi, it was going to be him. And all thoughts of laughter stopped.

This was retarded. A backrub wasn't going to make Sasuke 'all better'. And everyone knew it. Sasuke was broken beyond repair.

Naruto paled, feeling his hands prickle with sweat. He had gone to great pains to avoid Sasuke after the war. The bitter taste of betrayal was still too fresh. Yes, he had defeated Sasuke. Finally, he had done what he had not been able to at the Valley of the End. But it should never have had to come to that. After all they had been through together in the final battle against Obito, Madara and Kaguya, Sasuke should have _trusted_ Naruto. He should have _talked _to him about what he wanted to accomplish instead of... Naruto clenched his fists and forced the bubbling anger and hurt back down. He was tired of both feelings. Tired of everything

"Old Hag. I haven't even been back to my apartment since my last mission. I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I need a bath. Since you've already made up your mind that I am going to be the one to do this, and you're still the Hokage, you can make it an order. Just tell me what it is that I need to do. Let's get this over with."

Sympathy flashed across the Hokage's beautiful brown eyes, but it was brief. Then she was all business. The Uchiha was simply too dangerous to leave in his current, unstable state. It was this or prison. The psychiatric ward in the hospital would not be able to hold him.

"As you know, Sasuke never received any sort of treatment for the mental trauma he suffered as a child following the Uchiha massacre," Tsunade began, a feeling of anger spiking through her as she thought of how callous the Third had been at the treatment of both Naruto and Sasuke. Had _no one _thought to look after the children of the village at all? For a Hokage who had been known for his kindness, the Third had been a true bastard in how he ignored the children of his fallen comrades in the end. But there was nothing she could do to fix the mistakes of the past. Her job was to focus on the present. "The long term effects of the mangekyo sharingan that Itachi used on Sasuke twice are unknown, but most ninja who were exposed to that technique even once suffer complete mental breaks and never recover. Kakashi was only exposed once, and had months of therapy following it. His exposure was less severe than Sasuke's, and even he has had lingering effects. With the first exposure, the boy received no treatment at all, and with the second he left the village with only the most minimal treatment. In addition, he lived in complete isolation during his time with Orochimaru, the curse seal further influencing his thought processes, and witnessed god only knows what kind of depravities in his adolescent years when we know the mind is quite fragile," Tsunade paused, letting her words settle.

Naruto realized in that moment that Tsunade had thought more about Sasuke and the reasons for his actions than he had given her credit for. She might claim to not like Sasuke. But she understood why he was the way he was. She didn't blame him for it.

"Then there was... the battle with you during the war," she said, her voice hardening with remembered anger when she found out what Sasuke had tried to pull while she and the other kage were bound by the infinite tsukuyomi. Ok, so maybe there were a few things she did still blame Sasuke for.

Naruto shuffled his feet slightly. It was not one of his fondest memories, either.

"Sasuke has returned as a fallen hero. He no longer holds the respect that he had as a child, and his defeat by you has taken away the mystique that he is the strongest in the village. With all his enemies either dead or in prison, he no longer has vengeance to support him as a goal to give purpose to his existence. His help during the war and your decision to not seek retribution for his final act of betrayal has kept him out of prison, but we cannot allow him to resume missions at this point. None of the other kage trust him, and no one in our own ranks is willing to work with him until he has managed to prove himself loyal in some way. Giving him only low level, solo missions would only insult his pride and further anger him. So we are left... where we are."

When word had spread that Sasuke had turned on Naruto in the final battle, the people of Konoha and the surrounding lands had not been as ready to forgive that transgression as they had his crimes against Danzo or even the attack on the Kage summit. Naruto had earned not only the trust and respect of the kages, but he was viewed as a friend. He was a hero across all five nations.

Naruto had been the first to reach out to Sasuke and trust him when he had joined in the battle against Madara and Obito. The emotions that had flowed through the chakra link when Naruto had shared his chakra with the allied shinobi forces had carried Naruto's memories of grief and loss and friendship of Sasuke. But it had been rejected by the missing nin in place of a chance to rule with absolute authority. And Sasuke had turned on him.

Naruto had stopped him, but they had both almost died in the fight.

And now they were both 'home'. Naruto's victory felt hollow.

Naruto was surprised that Sasuke had stayed in Konoha, truth be told. But he supposed there really wasn't anyplace left for him to go, with the Akatsuki gone and the rest of the ninja world firmly allied with Naruto and Konoha.

There was always Orochimaru, but even Sasuke must have realized that was a bad idea. And Orochimaru had taken up residence not far from Konoha, trying to legitimize himself and stay out of trouble. For now. But there was no hiding the way the man's snakelike eyes had followed Sasuke's body throughout the battle. Sasuke may be many things, but oblivious was not one of them.

So Sasuke had stayed. He currently lived in complete isolation in the ruins of what had once been the Uchiha clan grounds. That part of the village had never been rebuilt after Pain's destruction of Konoha. Sasuke had paid to have his home reconstructed from the rubble, but left the remaining buildings as they had fallen. As the land belonged to the Uchiha clan, and Sasuke was now the sole survivor of that clan, it was his prerogative as to what to do with it. Or not.

Naruto snapped his attention back to Kakashi and the Hokage. "I get all this. But why are you saying that it needs to be this... therapeutic touch thing? Aren't there medicines or counseling or other shit that doesn't involve trying to get close to a bastard who has literally made a trademark out of his 'back-the-fuck-off' look?"

"We've tried that, Naruto. Don't you think we would have thought of that first? Counseling was a complete failure. Sasuke is too intelligent to be manipulated that way, and years of living with Orochimaru has made him able to see through most of their approaches. He was quite clear that he didn't want to 'share his feelings' or memories or anything with anyone. Both doctors who tried this approach ended up running out of their offices, terrified when Sasuke had offered to share his memories the old-fashioned Uchiha way - through his mangekyo sharingan. We considered trying anti-depressants and anti-psychotic medicines, but the sharingan makes his brain chemistry different from other people's and the risk of it having a dangerous adverse effect was too high."

"And there is nothing else?"

"No. The further he is declining mentally, the more at risk we are of him completely losing control and potentially harming others. There is significant medical research that shows that physical contact is a key factor in improving mental health of patients who have traumatic stress disorders. Even with infants, they have found that babies grow faster and get sick less with more direct contact. That's why they recommend skin on skin contact while nursing."

A rather awkward image of some random woman trying to nurse and oddly psychotic looking Uchiha infant flashed through Naruto's mind before being repressed.

"It has also been shown in post traumatic stress disorders that physical contact can help reduce stress and increase the overall mental stability of the patient. Naruto... we have spent the last three months trying everything else. It's this or incarceration. The hospital would not be able to hold him."

Naruto looked at Kakashi, who had pulled out his little orange book of porn and appeared to be ignoring their conversation while he flipped through the pages.

"So what do you mean by physical contact? Do I just... try to hold his hand and talk to him?" That was a mental image that Naruto could not summon. When he thought of Sasuke's hands he thought of... chidori being punched through the center of his chest.

Tsunade snorted as though reading his thoughts. "Somehow I don't think Uchiha is a hand-holding kind of guy. No, nothing like that. You can try scalp massage, or laying your hand on his arm. Any form of touching that he will allow. Or... maybe he would talk to you."

Naruto rolled his eyes. If there was one thing he was completely certain of, it was that Sasuke wasn't going to 'open up' to Naruto after years of fighting him. "How about sparring? I could put my foot up his ass. That kind of physical contact is something I would be _totally _comfortable with."

Kakashi snickered. "I don't think your foot is the part of your body Sasuke really needs shoved up his ass right now."

"Huh?" Naruto asked, slightly confused. Tsunade casually switched her sake glass to her left hand, and with her right hand flicked Kakashi in the forehead, sending him flying across the room.

"Never mind what Kakashi said, Naruto. You just need to go over and do what you can to help Sasuke. From what Sakura told us, the first thing you'll probably need to do is drown him in the tub. He hasn't been bathing, and his house is a mess."

Naruto frowned at her words. Sasuke had always been fastidious about his hygiene. Almost freakishly so. I mean, the guy had lived in a cave under a mountain with snakes, and his clothes and hair had always pristine. That took effort.

"Alright. Fine. So I just go there and... talk to him and... rub his arm or something?"

Tsunade shrugged. "If you make it through the first day without killing each other, I can have some of the physical therapists here teach you some actual techniques. But there is no point in bothering with that if the minute you walk through the door you've both got your chidori and rasengan going."

Naruto grumbled, "Stupid Sasuke. Greatest fucking ninja in five nations and he can't even wash his ass without help."

But his words didn't fool Kakashi or Tsunade. They could hear the underlying concern for his childhood friend. Naruto may or may not ever forgive Sasuke for what he had done, but they knew that it was simply not in Naruto's character to give up on his friend. No matter how shitty of a friend he had turned out to be in the end.

Because Naruto knew why Sasuke was the way he was. He understood what had twisted and broken the youngest Uchiha. And Naruto still on some level believed that the young boy that had existed before fate had decided to shit all over him still existed amongst the wreckage that he had become.

. . . .

Naruto walked through the village, trying to decide if he should stop by his own apartment first to bathe and rest, or just go directly to Sasuke's. After the description Tsunade had given him about the state that the Uchiha's home was likely in, he decided bathing probably wasn't worthwhile, so he simply grabbed a change of clothes and headed directly there.

People stopped to greet him warmly as he walked. There was no longer any question that he would be the next Hokage. Tsunade simply wanted to wait a couple of years until he matured a bit more, but everyone already acted like it he was their Hokage in every way except the paperwork. The streets of his childhood no longer existed. The buildings had been destroyed by Pain. And the sneering, hostile faces had, too. After saving his village, even his most hostile antagonists could no longer deny the leader he had become. Children smiled and waved shouting out his name excitedly.

Naruto smiled tiredly, but honestly. He finally had achieved what he wanted. And in some ways, he was at peace. But something was still missing.

He reached the edge of the re-built part of town, and his pace slowed as he entered the Uchiha compound. The twisted wreckage of homes a reminder of Pain's attack, but also the fact that there was no one left of the owners to rebuild. Except for the one house that stood alone amongst the debris.

Naruto hadn't been here since Sasuke had rebuilt and moved in. He doubted many people had. It wasn't along the main part of town, and it was quite frankly depressing as hell. Naruto felt a small frisson of guilt for not thinking about how Sasuke had been living since he had dragged his unconscious body home. _But he didn't have to live here. He could have chosen anywhere in town if he wanted._

Naruto felt nerves tighten in his stomach as he approached the door and knocked. There was no answer. Naruto placed the palm of his hand flat on the door, checking for seals or traps, but detecting none.

Reaching for the door knob, he was surprised to find it unlocked. Taking a breath and readying himself for attack, he pushed the door open. And stopped dead at the sight that greeted his eyes.

Sasuke was sitting at his kitchen table, slumped over with his head resting on his arm. The table itself was littered with empty sake bottles, some broken. There were scorch marks in the wall, and one Sakura sized dent in the middle of one. That was apparently where he hurled her when she tried her version of 'touch therapy' on the psychotic ninja.

Naruto wondered where she had tried to touch him, but figured he didn't want to know.

"Sasuke?" Naruto said hesitantly.

The raven lifted his head and Naruto was met with a bleary-eyed black gaze. " - the fck out, N'rto," the slurred voice came. Sasuke hurled an empty sake cup at him, and Naruto had to duck his head to avoid being struck squarely between the eyes. Even dead drunk the Uchiha had flawless aim.

"Sasuke..." Naruto took another step in, and his nose wrinkled. "Jesus, man. You stink. When was the last time you took a shower?"

Sasuke sat up, weaving slightly in his seat as he poured himself another glass of sake. "Fuck off," he said, slightly more clearly as he downed the glass in one go.

Naruto just looked at him, completely at a loss for what to do. He'd never seen Sasuke like this. As far as he knew, Sasuke had never even _tried_ alcohol. Not that he really knew for sure. God only knows what habits Sasuke had picked up living with Orochimaru, then with the Akatsuki. But he knew that this was... way beyond anything he had expected to find.

Naruto walked slowly around the house, feeling Sasuke's eyes following his every step.

"The place is nice. A total pigsty, but nice."

Sasuke simply sneered, not bothering with a reply.

Naruto continued down the hall, somewhat surprised that Sasuke hadn't kicked him out. Or at least tried to. He hadn't even asked Naruto what he was doing here.

Maybe Tsunade had told him Naruto would be coming.

There were four rooms down the hallway, and Naruto felt no compunction about opening the doors to each one and peering in. The first was clearly a spare bedroom, with no furniture at all. The second was a bathroom. The third appeared to be some sort of reading room, though the boxes of books and scrolls were opened but not unpacked.

The final room was clearly Sasuke's room. There was a large bed, a dresser with Uchiha fans on the drawer pulls, and... a huge mess. The state of it reminded Naruto of how his room used to look when he was a twelve-year-old living alone. The smell alone told him that Sasuke had done quite a bit of drinking in here as well. And not changed the sheets in the past month or two.

Naruto remembered the fussy boy who would always have his bed roll tied neatly and put away every morning before Naruto had even rolled slovenly out of his. He could hardly believe it. This was not right. It disturbed him more than the fact that Sasuke had apparently fireballed Sakura and hurled her into a wall.

There was a thump heard from the kitchen, and Naruto poked his head out to see that Sasuke had passed out under his kitchen table.

. . . .

Naruto crouched down next to his fallen friend. Unconscious, Sasuke's face had lost the hard, cold look that he had maintained even in his drunken state. Naruto sat there for several minutes, taking the time to really look at Sasuke's face. It had been years since he had seen the Uchiha sleeping. Back when they had all been together on Team 7. So many years, and so many fights had passed since then. But somehow, Sasuke's face was the same. A little older and thinner, the baby fat long gone. But it was still the boy that had drawn Naruto's complete and utter focus, the boy that Naruto had wanted to acknowledge him above all else.

The boy Naruto had wanted as his best friend.

Naruto reached out to touch Sasuke's hair, something he had always wanted to do. It was stiff and coarse from grime, clearly not having been washed in many days. It bothered Naruto to see Sasuke in dirty clothes, with dirty hair, in a dirty house. It wasn't supposed to be like this. _Sasuke _wasn't supposed to be like this.

Despite his fatigue, Naruto summoned several shadow clones. Before he washed Sasuke, he'd need a clean place to put him. One of the clones went to try to find clean sheets for the Uchiha's bed and bundle the rest of the dirty clothes and linens down to have them washed.

A second clone set to work cleaning up the empty sake bottles and bringing some level of sanitation back to the kitchen area. That left the real Naruto to deal with Sasuke himself. "Alright, Sasuke. Let's get you cleaned up."

Naruto slid one hand under the unconscious man's shoulders, and another under his knees, then hoisted him up and carried him into the bathroom. He stood in the entryway of the large bathroom for a few minutes, not really sure what to do next. The tub looked fairly clean. Either because Sasuke hadn't been using it, or because even in his declining state a dirty tub had been just too much for the Uchiha to stomach.

Setting Sasuke down on the floor, Naruto turned on the water and closed the drain of the tub. He poured some of Sasuke's soap in, noting that it smelled like sandalwood. He tested the temperature of the water, and knew he was stalling.

He didn't really feel comfortable with what had to come next. They had bathed together when they were younger. But that was back when they had been friends. Which Sasuke clearly didn't consider him anymore.

Naruto took his wet hands and flicked them in Sasuke's face. "Wake up, asshole. You stink and need to wash yourself."

Sasuke didn't move.

Naruto sighed. Sasuke was dressed in one of his grey short-sleeved shirts, which was fully zipped up with its high collar coming up to his chin. The dark blue pants and blue cloth he wore around his waist were stained and disheveled. Naruto decided he would go part way, and untied the purple obi, removing the blue cloth but not the pants. The pants needed to be washed anyway. He unzipped Sasuke's shirt and pulled it off, earning a groan from the otherwise limp form before he picked him up and placed him in the tub, only to quickly grip onto Sasuke's arm as the unconscious man almost slipped beneath the water.

Sasuke must have breathed in some of the water, because he began coughing, and his eyes opened briefly, focused on Naruto for a frozen instant, then closed again.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, more than half expecting a fist to come flying at his face. Possibly charged with chidori. He wondered how well that would work in the tub, but assumed Sasuke knew how to avoid electrocuting himself. "You know... it would make this a lot easier if you participated."

"Fuck you," Sasuke slurred, his eyes staying closed.

Naruto wasn't exactly sure what to do, but Tsunade had said something about head massages. That's sort of what you do when you wash your hair anyway. Since Sasuke's hair had already gotten wet when Naruto had almost accidentally drowned him, he simply squirted some of the scented shampoo onto his hands, working them together to make a lather. Sasuke must have been alert enough to prevent himself from slipping down in the tub again, but he made no more move to speak or open his eyes.

Naruto pressed his fingertips into the scalp at the front of Sasuke's forehead, and slid them back into the thick, dirty, black locks, pressing down and rubbing in small circles as he did. Sasuke breathed out, one pale hand gripping the edge of the tub, likely to keep himself from sliding down under the water. Dragging his fingers back to the front of Sasuke's head, he repeated the motion, pushing even further back to the crown of Sasuke's head. A spray of goose bumps appeared along Sasuke's neck and shoulders at the sudden release of tension.

There was a small bathing pitcher next to the tub, and Naruto used it to pour some additional water into Sasuke's hair to make a lather, using his other hand to prevent the soapy water from running into Sasuke's eyes. Naruto's fingers were strong and calloused from years of fighting, but he tried to gentle his touch somewhat as he worked the scented soap through Sasuke's black locks, massaging down to the scalp then tugging back on the strands. He noticed absently that Sasuke had grown his hair out so that it covered more of his forehead than it used to.

He slowly worked his way toward the back of Sasuke's head, until he got all the way to the base of the neck, taking time to work through each section of Sasuke's hair. When he had finished, he rinsed it clean. Sasuke let out a small sigh, slowly opening his eyes. "Why?"

Naruto didn't pretend to misunderstand. "The Old Bag told me you needed a bath. And your house is a pigsty, so I cleaned it up a bit."

Sasuke smirked. "Hn. So I get the next Hokage as my personal maid," he said, his eyes unfocused for a minute. But then they turned hard and swirled red, the smirk slipping away. "Now get out."

Naruto stood, assuming that if Sasuke was alert enough to activate the sharingan, he probably could manage to finish bathing himself without drowning.

"You're welcome, asshole," Naruto said sarcastically, drying his hands on the clean towel and throwing it on the floor next to the tub. "This is clean, and so are the sheets on your bed. Sleep it off, and try to do something other than drink tomorrow."

Naruto glared at Sasuke, but the man had already closed his eyes again, turning his face slightly away toward the shower wall. "Whatever. Get out."

-xXx-

_to be continued_

sorry... I know the plot is... whatever. I promise I will write a multi-chap canon fic with a properly thought out plot at some point, and I know that it is _not this one_, but needed to get this off my chest.


	2. Chapter 2 - Traps

**Summary: **The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

**Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) **language, angst,** mental illness, drug use**, and the conscious decision to engage in it. THIS IS A MATURE TOPIC please do not read if you are under 18.

**Disclaimer** - Chapter 694 has made me slightly less angry that Kishimoto owns Naruto. Still wish 10 Rankai did, though.

**Author's note** - Theme song for this chapter (I guess sort of sasuke's theme song right now) is an old Papa Roach song called 'My Last Resort'. I know I have mentioned this before, but to me, Canon!Sasuke is very different from the AU Sasukes that I write particularly in terms of his mental health. His family trauma is pretty much off-the-charts in Canon, and Kishimoto has been really clear that Sasuke has mental issues. I am not going to pretend he doesn't. So it will be a bit rough. YOU ARE WARNED. Also thanks to Gweatherwax for discussing with me what types of drug usage were likely to fit with Canon.

-xXx-

Naruto trudged back to his apartment after stuffing the Uchiha's laundry in the small washing machine next to the bathroom. He'd return later to dry it if Sasuke wouldn't. He was so tired, he was almost asleep before he unlocked his door but somehow he managed to shower before climbing into bed. Once there, however, he found sleep slipping from his grasp. He couldn't get the sight of Sasuke's face out of his head. Somehow the face of the adult Sasuke was merging with the face of the child Naruto had coveted. They two versions were linked in a way that Naruto couldn't control, and with the blending of the images, his emotions were entangled and twisted as well. His childhood obsession with proving himself worthy, his willingness to sacrifice himself to protect that boy... to do anything at all for Sasuke.

The boy who had grown into a rogue ninja that had betrayed him and tried to kill him several times. Who seemed to place no value at all on any of their shared past. As though they had been brief acquaintances not worth remarking.

But for Naruto, Sasuke's face and his very existence were seared into his soul. From the day they had first met, he had been unable to take his eyes from him, though he had thought it jealousy at the time. Over time, it had grown into admiration and some sort of... longing. For friendship, Naruto supposed, not really having any other name for the emotion he felt. Though it was not the same as the friendship he felt for Gaara, or Shikamaru, or anyone else. It was different, somehow. So much stronger, despite the number of years that had passed.

When the Sage had said their lives had been tied together before, it had finally seemed to make some sort of sense to Naruto. It explained the visceral pull he had always felt for the dark-haired boy. But why was Naruto the only one to feel this bond? Why was Sasuke able to ignore it so completely? Was the sage wrong? Or was the bond somehow one-sided?

Naruto breathed out raggedly in frustration, the sleep he so desperately needed slipping further from his grasp.

Maybe he really was the idiot that everyone had always claimed him to be. After all this time, he still felt the pull of the boy. Still felt that obsession as he looked on Sasuke's sleeping face. Naruto had accomplished so much, and was no longer the outcast of Konoha. He was now its hero. So _why_ did he still feel like none if it mattered without the recognition from this one person? Why had he not been able to outgrow his childhood fixation?

Sasuke had tried to kill him three times.

THREE.

Naruto had come to terms with the first battle at the Valley of the End. Sasuke had been terrified that Itachi would return, and Sasuke was not getting strong enough fast enough. He had taken a shortcut, a dangerous (and in Naruto's mind stupid) one, but it was because Sasuke was afraid for his life and possibly even for Naruto and Kakashi, who had also been targeted by Itachi. Kakashi had been Sasuke's teacher, but had fallen so easily against Itachi that Naruto understood at some level Sasuke's belief that he had needed to find a stronger teacher. Though Naruto still disagreed with the riskiness of the choice. In the end Sasuke had defeated Orochimaru, which in Naruto's mind wiped the slate clean.

The second attempt had been decidedly half-hearted, and Naruto could have easily dodged or blocked it on his own if Sai had not intervened. He could over-look that one, too.

But this last one... could not be overlooked. Naruto had grown stronger. Smarter. Had he not proven that in the battle they had fought side-by-side against insurmountable odds that neither could have defeated alone? Was that still not enough to earn Naruto some sort of recognition from Sasuke? Some acknowledgement as an equal... a potential partner in whatever plan Sasuke was following at the moment?

Naruto felt a twisting in his gut, a horrible leaden feeling has he remembered the disbelief that had washed over him when - after everything they had been through in the final battle - Sasuke had still not viewed him as a comrade, much less a friend. Naruto's only form of acknowledgement from Sasuke had been that he was worth fighting. Unlike Sakura or Kakashi, whom Sasuke had disregarded as irrelevant. But that hadn't been the type of acknowledgment Naruto had wanted.

Sasuke had viewed Naruto narrowly as yet another obstacle in his way to achieving whatever fucked-up idea was in the Uchiha's head at the moment. Never mind that three months later Sasuke would probably talk to someone else and change his fucking mind _again_.

And that was another thing that really pissed Naruto off. Sasuke seemed to be influenced by so many _other_ people.

Itachi, Naruto could understand. Of course Sasuke would have believed his older brother. But Tobi/Obito? Seriously? And then some dead Hokages, some of whom were responsible for his clan's murder, talked to him for ten minutes and achieved what a lifetime of begging on Naruto's part had not. All of them had more influence over what Sasuke believed in than Naruto. People lied and manipulated and used Sasuke. Naruto was the only one who had always been completely honest with him, and never had any ulterior motives except just wanting his friendship. Wanting to protect Sasuke, or at least fight by his side. No matter what had happened, Naruto had trusted Sasuke and stood up for him when even Sakura and the rest of their class had decided he should be killed as a nuke nin.

But still, Sasuke had treated him as though he were just another adversary.

Why couldn't Naruto hate him? Why had Naruto instead told Tsunade that he wouldn't agree to any charges held against Sasuke for their final battle?

Why did the sight of Sasuke's face and the feel of his hair in Naruto's fingers linger in his mind and keep him from sleep?

Naruto was briefly glad that the side effect of having Kurama ripped from his body then imprisoned by Sasuke before being re-sealed had left the fox temporarily dormant within him. He could just imagine what the old fox would have to say about this.

The thought brought a half-smile to Naruto's lips, allowing him to finally drift off to sleep. Though his dreams were laced with a feeling contempt for his own weakness for this one man, who evidently never cared about him at all.

-xXx-

Sasuke woke, surprised for a moment to find himself in a clean bed, wearing clean clothes. He looked around his room, noticing his dirty clothes were no longer in sight. His head was pounding, but he was used to it. It was a small price to pay for the oblivion that alcohol brought. It was part of the reason that Sasuke had started experimenting with other ways of killing his thoughts.

That reminded Sasuke that he was running low on sake. But at least the little jar he kept in with the spices in the kitchen was mostly full.

He hated leaving his house. He hated living in the village. The guarded stares, the disapproving glances, the lustful leers. He hated them all. Who were they to judge or admire him? What did they know? They'd lived in ignorance while his clan was slaughtered, enjoying the peace and safety of the village without being aware of the heavy price that others had paid for it. Sasuke hated them for their unquestioning acceptance of the contrived story of events that was fed to them.

All the images of dislike and distrust that he saw through his brother's eyes that were now his. The eyes of the man who had arguably suffered the most, villainized by the very people he had sacrificed himself to protect. Every morning that Sasuke looked in the mirror, he was met with Itachi's eyes. He was swamped with the reality of living with the eyes of the brother he had loved. The brother he had killed.

He walked to the bathroom, avoiding looking at the mirror, and a memory flashed across his mind - Naruto, leaning over him in the bath. Strong, tan fingers scrubbing his hair clean.

Had it been real?

Yes. But why? What had Naruto wanted with him? Why had he come to his home?

_After all these months of ignoring me. Avoiding me._

Sasuke didn't want Naruto here. Not now. Not like this. He wasn't ready. He wouldn't be judged. He didn't need the Hero of fucking Konoha there to pity him. Or try to 'save' him.

Though Naruto had stopped saying things like that after the fight had started in earnest. Why did Sasuke remember the way Naruto's eyes had dimmed, then hardened when Sasuke had made it clear he intended to kill Naruto and all the tailed beasts?

It didn't matter.

_None of it matters now._

But he didn't like that his former teammate had entered his home uninvited. Sasuke wanted his privacy. It was the whole reason he had rebuilt his home amidst the rubble of the Uchiha compound. Sasuke realized he had become lax about setting the seals around his home. This was Uchiha land. No one but him was allowed here. The blood of his clan had soaked into the soil. This was what he would remember. This was what was left of his legacy.

_So much blood._

But Naruto hadn't come to visit Sasuke's memorial to his clan. Why had he come? To rub it in? To chastise him for what had happened with Sakura? To 'talk' with him?

_Bullshit._

Sasuke didn't care. Naruto had come. Now Sasuke would go to him.

-xXx-

Sasuke had entered Naruto's small apartment through the bedroom window that Naruto had foolishly left open.

_And this is the future Hokage? _Sasuke thought, sneering down at the man sleeping sprawled out in his narrow bed.

The sheet covered Naruto's hips and thighs, but everything else was exposed. It was clear that Naruto had just returned from a mission. His chakra levels were still low. And he was exhausted, judging by the way he slept flat on his back without moving, not noticing the presence of a potential enemy in the room. Sasuke stood there, watching Naruto sleep.

He could kill him now. It would be possible that no one would know it was him.

_Stupid. Everyone would know. You are the only enemy left alive that could kill him. They'd know it was you._

Still, Sasuke considered it. He had nothing to gain from Naruto's death anymore. That opportunity had passed. The bijuu were now safely out of his reach.

But it bothered him. Why could he never kill this person? What was it about Naruto that always made him hold back at the last minute? Sasuke had not held back when he had fought Itachi. The brother Sasuke had loved and admired more than anyone else.

But he hadn't been able to kill Naruto, despite having had three chances to do so. Well, two at least. Naruto had grown stronger by the third and final time, and Sasuke hadn't had to hold back in battle. The third time, it had been Naruto who had held back from the kill.

Still, Sasuke wondered if he really could have done it, had the opportunity presented itself at the time. Part of him had wanted to know. He didn't understand why this one tie had proven so difficult to break.

He didn't understand what Naruto could possibly want from him. He had never understood it.

Naruto had said wanted to be Sasuke's brother at one point. Wanted Sasuke to trust him like family.

Family. Like Sasuke's parents who had been leading the plot to revolt against the village, who never told him about what they were doing, despite the rest of the clan knowing. Who ignored the warnings of a possible pre-emptive strike by Anbu if they continued their plans. Who put their own ambitions above the lives of the Uchiha clan.

Family. Like his brother who kept his allegiance secret, slaughtering their entire clan to 'save' Sasuke, while at the same time burdening him with the heavy guilt of being the only Uchiha left untouched, of having the responsibility to avenge his entire clan against the one person he had idolized above all others without knowing the truth until it was too late.

Family. Like Obito, who had claimed he wanted to help Sasuke, when in truth he was only planning to deliver him to Kabuto as payment for the _edo tensei _jutsu to create an army of resurrected ninjas.

Family. Like Madara who cut him down in battle without a second thought, who only considered him as a potential source of ocular power until his own rinnegan were retrieved.

Why would Sasuke want more family? Why would a claim of 'brotherhood' imply that Sasuke should somehow trust or believe in Naruto? His own blood relatives had betrayed him. Misled him. Left him. Why would he ever trust anyone else, where the bond could only be weaker?

No. He would never understand why Naruto valued such a claim. Sasuke certainly didn't. He knew already what the value and _worthiness_ of those bonds were.

Sasuke found his gaze fixed on Naruto's sleeping form, sweeping over the broader shoulders and muscled chest that had replaced the child's body he remembered in their youth.

_He has no scars. Even from where my hand passed through his chest. It's like it never happened._

It bothered Sasuke. There should be a _mark_ from their battles. Sasuke had scars. Though the worst wounds were unseen, as Itachi had taught him.

_Itachi. _Sasuke brushed his fingers over his eyes. _Itachi's eyes_.

He felt the familiar anger boiling up inside him. Once it had fuelled and focused him. Now it made him feel impotent. He had been robbed of his revenge against the council. Hiding safely away from any danger of getting caught up in the frontline fighting, the council had instead been caught in one of the random tailed-beast bombs that the Juubi had fired off before Obito had gained control as the Juubi's Jinchuuriki.

When Sasuke had found out about their deaths, the senseless and _accidental_ way that the focus of his hatred had been wiped out without any assistance on his part, laughter had bubbled out despite himself. He had laughed uncontrollably for almost five minutes. It was so funny... all their plotting and scheming and machinations. And they were vaporized in a random blast aimed at nothing. In a way, it was incredibly fitting. Their deaths went almost unremarked given the drama and broader tragedy of the war. And they had died hiding, a cloud of scandal firmly shrouding them.

Still, Sasuke would have preferred to slice them open himself and have them die bleeding and begging his forgiveness at his feet. But now that would never happen.

_What did he want now?_

Sasuke's aspiration to be Hokage was over. Naruto would be the next Hokage. Sasuke had lost.

His stomach tightened as the truth of those words settled in on him. They both would achieve the 'dreams' of their youth. Sasuke had killed his brother, though that victory lay bitter on his soul.

And Naruto would become Hokage. Already he was viewed as Hokage in all but name.

How had that happened? How had the awkward, Dead Last that Sasuke remembered turn into the powerful shinobi sleeping in front of him?

Though he hadn't really been dead last. He had been trying to control an immense chakra that was not his own through an imperfect seal. Once Jiraya had fixed things, Naruto's power had rapidly built.

_So rapidly that he was leaving you behind._

Had it mattered to Sasuke back then? Sasuke tried to remember. It felt like centuries ago.

Yes. It had mattered. Naruto had... mattered.

Not like a brother. Not like family.

_Rivals_, Naruto had called them. Staring at the sleeping shinobi, Sasuke tested the word in his mind. Were they rivals? Was that what he felt when he was with Naruto?

Maybe. He felt something. He had always felt something. When he looked at Naruto he wanted to... do... something. Always. To fight. To hold Naruto's attention. To make Naruto chase him.

Sasuke had hated Sakura. She had distracted Naruto. Naruto was supposed to focus on Sasuke. Not Sakura.

He took a step towards Naruto's sleeping form. He could kill him now, while he was unconscious in sleep. But somehow... that was not what he wanted.

Sasuke's gaze went again to the smooth skin across Naruto's torso. He wanted to _mark_ it. He _had _marked it. The demon had erased the mark, as though revoking Sasuke's claim on the blond.

Sasuke felt an anger stir. Kyuubi had _no right_ to erase his mark.

Without realizing it, Sasuke's hand reached out, his fingertips brushing along the unmarred flesh across Naruto's breastbone.

A tan hand viced around his wrist, and Sasuke felt his gaze locked by piercing blue orbs.

Sasuke didn't attempt to withdraw his hand. He would not act as though he had no right to touch the body that should have still born his mark. Sasuke's body still bore the scars that Naruto had left. Their gazes locked, both unflinching.

Finally, it was Naruto who spoke. "What are you doing here?"

Sasuke showed no expression on his face. "You came into my home without an invitation. Don't do it again."

Naruto flung Sasuke's hand aside, sitting up, and pulling the sheet to be sure it still covered his lap.

"Take care of yourself and I won't have to. You're too powerful a shinobi for Tsunade to just let you go on a drunken rampage whenever you want," Naruto said calmly.

Sasuke hated this new, calm Naruto. Hated that Naruto had not called him bastard or teme or any of the words he used to use.

"So that's the only reason you came into my house? Because Tsunade ordered you to, to keep me from hurting anyone else?"

Naruto hesitated. He had been avoiding Sasuke, trying to make sense of what he felt and deal with the anger and his own sense of failure of never being able to reach Sasuke or seemingly influence him in any way. But Naruto knew that Sasuke would not be interested in hearing about that. After all, hadn't Naruto spent _years_ talking about his bond with Sasuke and his desire to be his friend? Naruto finally understood that Sasuke simply did not care about that, so he would stick with the piece that Sasuke would respect. A direct order from a superior.

"Tsunade's job is to protect Konoha. Even from its own citizens. From hurting others or yourself. She asked me to check on you, so I did." Naruto didn't think now was the time to disclose _exactly_ what Tsunade had said. He'd find out today whether this little experiment was even going to continue or not, and he'd try to talk to Sasuke about it then, once he understood it better himself.

The silence stretched.

"Fine," Sasuke said at last, his voice reflecting none of the anger and turmoil that was washing over him. He turned fluidly and left, this time using the door rather than the window.

Naruto sat there, frozen, watching him go and wondering why he felt like he had somehow missed something. Somehow made a mistake.

It had been unsettling to wake and find Sasuke in his bedroom, touching him.

Unconsciously, Naruto's hand drifted to the point on his chest where Sasuke's fingers had rested. The skin there tingled slightly. He wondered if Sasuke had been thinking of using chidori. No one else's touches made his skin react like that. _It must be Sasuke's lightning affinity._

He looked at the clock and realized he had overslept. He was supposed to go to Tsunade and report what had happened last night. And this morning.

-xXx-

Sasuke ignored the villagers as he made his way from Naruto's apartment. Since he was already in town, he stopped and purchased more sake, ignoring the knowing look that the storekeeper gave him. He didn't care what people thought. Tsunade was a lush and they made her Hokage.

Naruto had come because Tsunade had ordered him to. It made sense. It was logical.

Of course there was no other reason that Naruto would come. So why did the words come as almost a surprise? Why did they make him angry?

Sasuke thought again of the smooth, tan skin on Naruto's chest. The warmth and hardness of the flesh against his fingers. He felt a coiling in his gut, a tension that seemed an even more amplified of the sensation that he had always felt around the blond. As always, it left him feeling tense, unsettled, and aggressive. In the past, this feeling had driven his need to compete, to spar, to... to... Sasuke didn't know what.

_Something. _

Somehow that feeling was even stronger now, as an adult. Especially now that he didn't have other things demanding his attention.

But Naruto wouldn't be coming to spar with him. They were no longer teammates. Sasuke was no longer a Konoha ninja. He was a civilian until Tsunade deemed otherwise.

All of Sasuke's goals had either been achieved or destroyed. And the village he had once served had no use for him.

He no longer served a purpose.

Shinobi were tools. But what was a tool when no one wanted to wield it anymore?

Sasuke's entire life had revolved around pushing himself past his limits to reach his goals. But now he had no goal. There was nothing for him to focus on, to strive for. All that was left were the memories, doubts and 'what-ifs' that now haunted his waking moments. Vengeance had been a constant in Sasuke's life. It had fuelled him and driven away the anguish of actually facing his past.

The only other constant in Sasuke's life had been Naruto. Even when they had been separated, Sasuke could feel Naruto's focus on him as though it were a living thing. Even if he went years without seeing the blond, he had known that he was in Naruto's every thought, that Naruto was pushing himself just as Sasuke had kept pushing. They might not have been together, but they had still been connected as though by an invisible thread.

Now even that was gone.

Sasuke was no longer Naruto's focus. The Hokage had had to _order_ Naruto to even visit him.

He reached his home, this time taking care to lock and trap the door.

He put away the alcohol, not bothering to pour himself a glass. He had other plans. He needed something stronger than alcohol.

He walked to his kitchen, taking out a jar of a sticky, black substance. The man who sold Sasuke the alcohol had a supply of it under a floorboard in the shop's storage room. He was not the only ninja in Konoha wanting to escape his thoughts. Many of the Sound nins had used it, as most had things in their past that they were trying to forget from homes far away or completely destroyed. Poppies grew in fields all over the Sound. Sasuke had never understood the appeal at the time. Why would you willingly put yourself at such a disadvantage both physically and mentally?

But he understood it better now. He smiled bitterly.

Though he was new to the black substance, he already knew its effects. The good and the bad. He was not an addict. He was careful. He only allowed himself to use a small amount every other day. And when the jar was gone, he had promised himself he would not buy more.

It was just temporary, until he decided what to do.

He lit the flame and brought out a small silver plate that he held with a pair of tongs. He didn't purchase a pipe, even though he knew that was the most convenient and efficient way to use the substance. But a pipe would imply a permanence of the habit. Sasuke was not an addict. He would finish the jar, then it would be done.

His hand shook slightly in anticipation as he took a bead of the tar and dropped it onto the hot metal, vaporizing it. Sasuke drew a deep breath, feeling the drug slowly numb his mind, the now-familiar euphoria starting to build, shutting out all else, wiping his mind clean.

_Yeeessssss._

Sasuke leaned back on the cushion, letting his head fall back. He had worked with Kabuto and Orochimaru enough to know the side effects of the drug.

It effected the central nervous system, which meant that extended use would permanently damage his reflexes as well as his cognitive abilities. Before now, he would never have even considered it. His body and his mind had been fully under his control, his path to destroying his enemies and avenging his clan.

But now he had no goals. And the bliss, artificial though it was, was surely better than the slow drowning in memories of things lost. Or worse, moments where he could spend time revisiting what would have happened if he had chosen differently.

If he had not killed Itachi.

If he had not left the village.

If he had not tried to kill Naruto.

_Naruto._

Sasuke's blood heated in an unfamiliar way as images of Naruto's naked skin swirled through Sasuke's hazed mind. He felt that coil of tension again in his stomach, and somehow it seeped lower.

He didn't understand his body's response but it didn't matter. Sasuke drew another deep breath of the sweet, heavy smoke. His entire body relaxed.

Nothing mattered right now.

-xXx-

_to be continued..._

So I just want to say that Sasuke is falling into a very dangerous trap. I had a friend who was a graduate student at an ivy league university and was working on a thesis under one of the most famous professors in the department as the star of the group. He thought he was too smart and too disciplined to ever be an addict or get into trouble with it. He died of a heroin overdose at the age of 23. He'd been using for a few years. He was smart as hell, but it didn't make him any less dead. Heroine and other opium derivatives are seriously scary. It's not like alcohol or weed (which have their own associated issues, but it's really NOT THE SAME). This story will have a happier ending, but my description of Sasuke's drug use and how he views it is based on my friend, and how he slid into it, so it's a little personal and raw.


	3. Chapter 3 - Truths

**Summary: **The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

**Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) **language,** mental illness, drug use**, sexual acts under the influence of drugs. 18+.

**Disclaimer** - Chapter 694 has made me slightly less angry that Kishimoto owns Naruto. Still wish 10 Rankai did, though.

**Author's note** - Ok, so just to clear up a bit on the age/sexual experience thing. In the manga during the 'final battle', Naruto and Sasuke are like 16-17. YOUNG. And Kurama made a point just before the battle that Sasuke was still the only person Naruto had kissed (despite my deeply held believe that Naruto totally got it on with the first Menma and also Sora), so he is VERY inexperienced, but well-read (thanks to Jiraya). Sasuke has also apparently never been closer with anyone than Naruto, so he is even more inexperience and not well-read. Sasuke's virginity I can buy more because it is not uncommon for people with PTSD or depression to have total loss of libido. Naruto's... is a bit more of a stretch for me since usually people who are 'attention seekers' do this sexually as well when the opportunity arrives, and after saving the village from Pain Naruto probably could have banged his way through half the village but for some reason Kishi has kept him pure. And since I am trying to write full-on Canon with no plot divergence (up to 693), then I have to abide by that. They are both trying to reconcile their childhood feelings with their 'adult' feelings, and it is a bit confusing because they HAD a physical (violent) relationship and there are similarities between sex and violence, lust and hatred. And they are both emotionally crippled, though in different ways. So that is why their courtship here is going to feel so f*cked up. But this is just how I see them. I mean, if they were ANY LESS clueless about their sexuality, there is no way they would both still be virgins given the lives they have led.

-xXx-

Naruto stood staring at the door that Sasuke had just exited for several minutes. It was the first time since Sasuke had been back in the village that he had come to his house. Evidently _broken into_ his house. Somehow, that sent a dark thrill down Naruto's spine. The fact that Sasuke had come, not only without Naruto asking him to do so, but that Sasuke had been so intent on coming that he had actually forced his way in illicitly to... see Naruto.

Naruto brushed his fingers again over the place on his chest where Sasuke's fingers had rested. Somehow, instead of dissipating, the residual heat from the touch seemed to grow.

He closed his eyes and briefly recalled the cold perfection of Sasuke's face staring down at Naruto's chest when he had awoken at the unfamiliar sensation of someone touching his body while he slept. Normally, Naruto would have roused at the slightest sound or sense of an unfamiliar chakra source entering his home, but he had been utterly exhausted and evidently not heard Sasuke enter. _Though Sasuke's chakra signature was not unfamiliar._ And no matter how much history had tried to teach him otherwise, Naruto never was able to really consider Sasuke an enemy. More like... an incredibly dangerous and unpredictable friend.

Considering Sasuke's skills, it was possible Naruto wouldn't have woken even if he had not been so exhausted. And somehow that thought sent another chill of almost... _anticipation_ through Naruto. He didn't gloss over Sasuke's dark side like so many of his fangirls did. He knew that Sasuke was capable of cruelty and tremendous violence. He didn't try to deny that, or make it out to be somehow untrue. Because he understood the reasons behind it, and he found it somehow... compelling. He had always had a deep fascination with Sasuke, what he did and why he did it. It was, in part, the darkness within Sasuke that drew Naruto.

And he knew that on some level, Sasuke had always known this. Where Sasuke would deride Sakura and other of his fangirls saying that they liked him only for the shallowest of reasons, Sasuke had never made that claim about Naruto. He knew that Naruto's friendship was not based on looks or prestige. Naruto didn't try to make Sasuke something that he wasn't. Not really. Not entirely.

Because Naruto understood all too well how close he had come at one point to giving in to that same darkness that was inside himself. But his desire to win Sasuke's acknowledgement had somehow replaced his desire to act on the darkness that had grown inside him from the callous treatment of the village. Sasuke had kept Naruto from giving in to his darkness by giving him something he had wanted to pursue even more than revenge.

And part of what drove Naruto now was the fact that he had not been able to return the favor. Sasuke had chosen revenge over him.

But Naruto still felt the pull he had always felt towards Sasuke. It wasn't his looks, but it was his intensity, his brokenness, his strength.

_Though_... Naruto opened his eyes, surprised to realize he was slightly hard, skin still tingling from where Sasuke had touched his naked chest. ..._though he had to admit Sasuke's looks were compelling, too. There was something about the ruthless beauty of the man, so cold and hard, yet almost... delicate... in his perfection._ It was this dichotomy perhaps that was part of the overall mystique of Sasuke. So dangerous and powerful. But with a face almost ethereal in beauty.

Naruto shook his head. What the fuck was he thinking about? Sasuke had come into his bedroom, and could probably have killed him in his sleep. Instead of worrying about that, Naruto was mooning over his pretty face and getting hard like a girl. Well... not like... a girl since he was... hard.

Completely annoyed with himself, Naruto decided to write the whole thing off to surprise and morning wood. He couldn't possibly deal with anything else. All other options just made everything infinitely more complicated than he was prepared to deal with.

. . . . .

Naruto arrived thirty minutes late to Tsunade's office, and found her tapping her fingers in annoyance on her desk at his tardiness.

"I was wondering if Sasuke had trapped you in a genjutsu when you went to see him. But evidently you survived your first visit," the Hokage said, her eyes assessing his complete health. Everyone else who had attempted to visit the last remaining Uchiha had come away with not insignificant damage to their person. Naruto had not, and Tsunade began to realize that there could be merit in Kakashi's idea.

Naruto shifted on his feet. "No, he was fine. A little out of it, but..."

"Tell me exactly what happened, and what you did. We need to keep track of his mental health, and right now you are the only one who can witness it without setting him off."

Naruto was torn between worry that Tsunade evidently felt Sasuke was such a risk that this type of monitoring was required, and... pride?... that he was the only one Sasuke would allow to do so. Not Sakura. Not Kakashi. _NOT_ _Sakura_. Somehow that... pleased him tremendously. He pushed the slightly selfish thought down, feeling a little guilty. He knew how desperately Sakura wanted to be the one to 'be there' for Sasuke. _Though she was ready enough to give up on him after he joined Akatsuki and attacked the Kage summit._ Naruto realized Tsunade was losing patience with him again, and refocused.

"Well, when I got there he was just... sitting at his kitchen table," Naruto paused, not really want to rat Sasuke out by saying that he had been drunk off his ass. Though given Tsunade's own weakness, he suspected she would be more sympathetic than not.

"And what was his condition?" she pressed.

"Well, he had been... drinking a bit, I guess," Naruto mumbled, then rallied. "But he was still totally in control. He threw a cup right at my head and it would have hit me dead on if I hadn't dodged."

Naruto paused, realizing that this might not actually be a point in Sasuke's favor when Tsunade's eyes narrowed.

"So he was basically drunk off his ass and attacked you," Tsunade said, her voice hard.

"No! I mean, he knew I could dodge it. Seriously, Tsunade, just flicking a cup at me is hardly an attack. Especially coming from Sasuke. When he attacks, it's like... not subtle."

Tsunade's lips twitched, whether from annoyance or amusement, Naruto wasn't sure.

"Ok, brat. So he didn't all-out attack you, but he _was_ drunk."

Naruto fidgeted, but didn't respond.

Tsunade sighed, realizing she wasn't going to get Naruto to admit to Sasuke's state of mind. "Ok, so after he threw the cup at you, what happened?"

Naruto perked up, slightly more confident at this part of his report. "I made a couple of clones, and cleaned up his place and helped him take a bath."

This time Tsunade blinked. "You... _bathed_ him?" Kakashi was much more correct than she could ever have hoped. She bit the inside of her lip to keep a snicker from bubbling out at the _earnest_ look on Naruto's face. Like this was perfectly normal. Living so long with Jiraya, she was surprised that Naruto had a shred of innocence left, but she supposed there was a difference between hearing (or reading) about something and actually experiencing it. Her guess was that Naruto had been so scarred by the long-time rejection of the village that he had been afraid to let anyone get _that_ close to him, despite numerous people clearly being more than willing. Part of the price of having a monster living inside you. Again, Tsunade found herself cursing the short-sightedness of the Third Hokage.

Naruto nodded. "One of my clones cleaned up his bedroom and changed the sheets, another cleaned up the kitchen, and I helped him into the tub."

"And he... was conscious? He let you?"

Naruto shrugged. "He just looked at me and... told me to fuck off and get out. Then I left." Naruto decided it best not to mention Sasuke had activated the Sharingan. He hadn't attacked with it, so it didn't really count.

"And then he came to my apartment this morning to see me."

Had Tsunade not already been slightly overwhelmed by the idea of the little Uchiha allowing someone to help him bathe, she would have shown more surprise at the prickly recluse actually bothering to seek anyone out.

"And what did he want to know?"

"Just why I had been there to see him... why I had helped him."

Tsunade's breath caught. "And what did you tell him, Gaki?"

"That... you had ordered me to, to be sure he wasn't a safety risk to himself or the village."

_Damn_. Tsunade thought. "Baka. You should have told him the truth."

Naruto scowled, still having the niggling feeling himself that he had messed that up that morning. "It WAS the truth, baa-chan. I would not have gone to his place if you hadn't told me to."

That was at least partially true. If Tsunade had not told Naruto that Sasuke was becoming unstable... well... MORE unstable, he would not have gone. But if she had simply told Naruto that Sasuke needed his help, but not ordered him to go, would he still have gone? Naruto shifted, the answer coming immediately to his mind. Yes. Yes and goddamn himself a thousand times for being an idiot, but yes. He would always go if Sasuke needed him, even if the asshole never actually wanted his help.

Tsunade was watching the flicker of emotions play over Naruto's ever expressive face, and realized that she didn't need to tell the boy the truth. He clearly already realized it, but didn't like it. Well, that was fine. Neither did she. She had hoped Naruto would find happiness with Hinata, or one of the villagers who would support him and show him kindness for the years of neglect and abuse he had suffered. But somehow, Naruto had long ago chosen a boy who was possibly not capable of giving him that, but needed Naruto more than anyone.

She sighed. These sorts of things weren't up to her anyway. They days of forced marriage to breed stronger bloodlines were faded. And in her heart, all she wanted was for Naruto to find happiness, in a way that Dan and Nawaki should have, but had been denied. It was this one final mission that kept her feeling bound here. The war was over, she had trained her successors. Naruto would be the next Hokage, and Sakura had learned all her medical arts. But this one last thing, finally to have someone she cared deeply for find happiness... this she needed in order to feel complete.

And if that meant letting the Uchiha claim Naruto's heart, then she would just have to allow it, though everything inside her screamed for Naruto to have chosen differently. Even the Kazekage would have been better, though he had his own tortured past, and it would have complicated Naruto's succession as Hokage.

"Naruto. Sasuke has completely detached himself from every contact in his life, with the possible exception of you. If you tell him you have no interest in him except in following my orders, what do you think he will do with that final bond? You are the only one he will talk to."

"Hmmm," Naruto hummed a bit noncommittally, feeling guilty. "He didn't talk much, but... I guess I'll... not make it clear that it isn't that I don't want to help him. And he wasn't drunk this morning. He seemed his usual self." Naruto stopped at that. Honestly, the way Sasuke had stared at him had NOT really seemed like his normal self. But it hadn't seemed crazy either. Or particularly dangerous. Just... intense.

"Well, I think it is worth proceeding with the plan. I am going to instruct you on some basic techniques. I want you to go over to his house today and discuss it with him. I don't think he will simply allow you to touch him without some sort of explanation. But even if he disagrees with this approach, just having some sort of connection with someone will help. Let him set the pace for how he wants to interact, and how he wants to proceed, unless he refuses to allow you in altogether."

"Didn't the people who tried this before ever explain anything to him?" Naruto said incredulously. Surely no one was that stupid to try to corner Sasuke in his home and start groping him.

"It never got that far," Tsunade said drily. "Generally they didn't make it through the front door."

Naruto shrugged, not really surprised. Even before Sasuke was crazy, he was not exactly a friendly guy.

"Ok, so what exactly am I supposed to do?"

Tsunade pulled out a diagram of the human body. "You are already familiar with the concept of pressure points. There are three kind: muscular, nerve, and chakra. In combat, targeting nerve or chakra pressure points are the most effective, though even muscular ones can do damage, particularly the heart and diaphragm. It is similar in this case. Specialists in massage therapy will target points where you have both nerve and muscular pressure points in the same location, such as the arch of the foot, the back of the knees, the base of the neck. There are eleven of these spots, circled here in red." Naruto accepted the diagram that Tsunade gave him, glancing at where they were, but not really needing to. These were in general the places he was already trained to target his Taijutsu attacks.

"Ok. So I know where these spots are already," Naruto said. "But... I'm assuming I don't try to hit him there, so what I just... rub his foot?"

Tsunade glared. "Not 'rub'. You use your thumb or heel of your hand to press in small circular motions. You need to activate the nerve and muscle node to release the endorphins and cause the vascular response, not just apply friction to the skin. There are various techniques for doing this, but the basic idea is don't press so hard that it bruises, and don't press so lightly that you don't do anything."

Naruto looked at the diagram again, trying to imagine himself actually doing this to Sasuke. He really couldn't. The foot, the knee, the neck, below the shoulder blade, the groin... Naruto choked slightly and looked a bit frantically at Tsunade. "I don't have to do _all _of these, right?"

She managed not to laugh when she saw that Naruto had finally noticed where they all were. "No, Baka. Just agree to try one or two, and we can see if there is any effect. Let Sasuke decide what he's comfortable with. With most patients, the endorphins help decrease the effects of the depression, and the increase in vascular flow to the muscles helps decrease some of the effects of anxiety. But as I've explained, due to the blood limit characteristics of the Sharingan, the brain chemistry of the Uchiha clan is not the same. We don't actually know what will work and what won't. This might have no effect at all, but it is safer to start here while we do more research before we try synthetic chemicals. And who knows. Maybe just having someone to talk to will help. There will be no silver bullet for mental disorders, even inpatients without the complication of the sharingan. All we are trying to do is get just a bit more control of the situation. In the end, it will be up to Sasuke to find himself out of the emotional hole he has dug."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "This doesn't sound very scientific. But I'll talk to Sasuke. See what he thinks about all this."

Tsunade shrugged. "Just remember. If he gets any more out of control, we will have to imprison him. He can't choose to just do nothing and continue on this downward spiral. He is simply too dangerous to be left alone."

Naruto sighed and nodded.

"Oh, and Baa-chan... you can tell Kakashi that the next time he wants to know what is happening, he can just stay in the room like a normal person. I could sense his chakra since I walked in here."

With that Naruto left. Kakashi appeared in a poof of mist. "Well, he's definitely gotten better at being able to sense me," the silver-haired man said, smirking beneath his mask.

Tsunade looked at him for a minute. "Have you been monitoring the Uchiha?"

"As much as I can, but I can't get close. I can tell you that he activated his chakra, probably his sharingan, last night when Naruto was there. But there were no attacks. After Naruto left, Sasuke slept longer than he has since he returned to the village. It's baby steps, but it's a good sign."

Tsunade nodded. Then sighed as she saw the mountain of paperwork waiting for her on her desk.

"Shizune! I need sake!" she bellowed.

Kakashi simply pulled his little orange book from his pocket and puffed away for some privacy.

Everyone had their vices.

-xXx-

Naruto made his way through the village. He didn't really know how to feel about this. Part of him reveled in the fact that Sasuke appeared to finally need him, even if the bastard hadn't admitted it yet. Tsunade had tried to send other people. Normal, more qualified people. And they had all failed. But - at least so far - Naruto hadn't failed. That had to mean something, didn't it?

Lost in thought, Naruto didn't hear his name being called until he felt a strong hand fall on his shoulder.

"Naruto!"

He snapped his head up to see a familiar pair of green eyes, with slightly singed pink hair. Sakura's left arm was still in a sling, but other than that she seemed fine.

"Hey, Sakura-chan. I heard about what happened. Are you alright?"

To his surprise, she blushed. "Yeah. I'm fine. I guess I got... a little carried away."

Naruto _really_ wanted to ask what she had done, but her embarrassed expression made him back off. He knew her feelings for Sasuke made her do dumb things. In that one way, at least, perhaps they were similar.

"I just wanted to say that... I hope you are able to help him. I realized that I just... I will never be able to reach him. I just don't really understand him. But I think maybe you do. Just be careful." With that, she gave him a slightly awkward hug (due to her arm being in a sling).

"Thanks," Naruto said, scratching his head somewhat awkwardly. It felt like Sakura was giving him her blessing for something, but that was silly, because all he was doing was trying to implement a treatment that Tsunade had ordered. "Well, I need to get going. Tsunade gave me instructions for what try next so..."

For some reason, Sakura's blush intensified. She didn't meet his gaze but just nodded her head. "Ok, well... keep me posted on how things... go."

She turned and walked briskly away, her face burning. _I will never understand what makes girls blush, _Naruto decided. But he didn't have the mental energy to spend on that today. He turned his feet toward the Uchiha Clan grounds.

. . . . .

When he reached Sasuke's house, he found the door locked. Naruto knocked. "Bastard. You home?"

"No," came the sarcastic but somehow amused reply.

"Ok, well, since you're not home, can I come in and rob you?" Naruto said, his mood lifting at the hint of amusement he had heard in the smooth voice. It had been years since he had heard Sasuke say something that sounded like a joke. Even a single-syllable one.

"If you can get in without blowing yourself up, be my guest," Sasuke's rich, disembodied voice floated out. There was something about his voice that seemed a little strange to Naruto. It carried none of the tension and anger that he was used to hearing.

Taking Sasuke's warning at face value, Naruto scanned the door and front window for traps and quickly disabled them. Not wanting to break the lock on Sasuke's front door, Naruto instead just shoved the window open and climbed in.

"If you're going to let me in, you might as well give me a key so I don't have to break your lock or climb in a window when you can't be bothered to get your lazy ass up off the floor," Naruto grumbled, looking at Sasuke lounging on a futon on the floor of his living room, surrounded by a series of cushions.

Naruto was relieved to see no sign of the sake bottles... no scent of alcohol. There was a faint trace of a heavy, sweet scent that Naruto didn't recognize, but assumed to be some sort of incense.

Naruto looked at Sasuke's face and felt... almost shock. Sasuke was reclined back on a folded futon with red and black cushions. His shirt was unzipped midway down his chest, and a light sheen of sweat glistened on his skin. Sasuke's face was relaxed, open, almost... happy-looking. Naruto had never seen Sasuke look this unguarded, even in their youth.

"Are you... you look really happy today," Naruto said cautiously, not really sure what else to say. Or what to make of the mood Sasuke seemed to be in.

Sasuke smiled a slow, lopsided grin that caused Naruto's stomach to do a slow flip.

"I feel _really_ good right now," Sasuke said, letting his head fall back and his eyes drift closed.

Naruto felt his hands break out in a sweat at the sight. Sasuke looked... erotic.

Naruto swallowed, feeling heat pool into his groin at the sight. _Oh, no. No, no, no, no... I can NOT be feeling this way about him. Not him. Not this._

In the recesses of his mind, he though he heard a familiar mocking chuckle from Kurama, but Naruto wasn't sure if it was just his imagination or if the wild spike of what Naruto was quite sure was lust had caused the ancient being to stir.

"Are you... were you drinking this morning?" Naruto asked, trying to make some sort of sense of what was going on.

Sasuke's eyes opened, and his gaze latched on Naruto. "You look nervous, Dobe." There was a lazy, mocking tone to Sasuke's voice that did nothing to reduce the heat Naruto felt. But something was off about Sasuke. He didn't look drunk like last night but he seemed... different.

"Answer the question, Sasuke," Naruto said, his voice taking on an edge. He wasn't a little boy anymore, and was used to giving commands.

"Nope. I haven't had anything to drink since you stripped me and put me in the tub," Sasuke said.

_'Nope'? Did Sasuke just say 'nope'? Sasuke never says 'nope'._ Naruto licked his lips in nervousness. Sasuke's eyes followed the motion.

"So you came back again," Sasuke said, his eyes still focused on Naruto's mouth.

"Um... yeah. Tsunade -" Naruto paused as he saw Sasuke frown. "- Tsunade had some ideas of how I could... help you..."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and his face lost some of the softness that had been there before. "I don't need your help, Dobe."

"I... Sasuke, she said that if you don't stabilize yourself, you're going to end up in prison. They can't handle someone like you in the hospital. We need to at least try this," Naruto said, flailing his hands slightly as though that could explain what he was trying to talk about.

Rather than being annoyed as Naruto had expected, Sasuke snickered a little. "You look so funny when you wave your arms like that. Like you're still twelve or something."

Naruto couldn't decide if he should be angry at what Sasuke said, or freaked out at how completely different Sasuke was acting compared to the previous night.

"Why are you still just standing there. Come, sit down if you have to talk at me. It's giving me a neck-ache looking up at you," Sasuke said, shifting his legs to make space for Naruto on the futon. Naruto looked at the empty futon on the other side of the room, but decided to take Sasuke's invitation to sit next to him, as unexpected as that was. If Naruto was supposed to actually touch him, it would be easier to do if he wasn't sitting across the room.

Once Naruto sat, Sasuke lounged back again, his knee brushing against Naruto's sending another series of electric-like shocks through the blond's nervous system. This time Naruto was not able to try to fool himself by thinking it had anything at all to do with chidori. Naruto tried hard to ignore the way Sasuke seemed to be so comfortable, almost _inviting_ the physical contact. After all, wasn't that the whole point of this?

Up close, he could smell the residual scent of Sasuke's sandalwood soap, as well as the slight undertone of his sweat. Somehow the combination of the two made it hard to concentrate.

"So what is this great plan that Tsunade has forced you into," Sasuke asked, his eyes half-lidded, almost sleepy looking, but the dark gaze still penetrating as he looked at Naruto.

"She's not..." Naruto felt his nervousness kick back in under the gaze. "She's not forcing me. I want to help you."

Sasuke closed his eyes and laughed softly, his voice dripping scorn. "Aren't you the good little boy? Always wanting to _save_ everyone. Always trying to _help_ everyone. It's just one more way you can show us all how much fucking _better _you are than everyone else, isn't it Naruto?"

"You know what? Fuck you, Sasuke. Just fuck you!" Naruto stood abruptly, and felt himself snap.

"If anyone thought they were better than everyone else, it's always been you. You fucking _asshole. _You just _had_ to try to take on your stupid plan of revenge on your own. Kakashi, Sakura and I were just dead weight to you. No one in the village was fucking _good enough_ to train the precious last Uchiha. So you went off to live with some totally psycho pedophile who probably jacked off while thinking about you every night and you thought it was all just fucking _perfect_ to live in some shitty cave with snakes and fucking _Kabuto, _don't even get me started with everything that is wrong with _that _guy. Then finally, _finally_ you kill the snake bastard, and instead of coming back home and asking for help or even just coming home to help _us_ because fucking _Pein_ was leveling Konoha to the _ground_, you just went off and found some complete _strangers_ to be your new team instead. Because evidently, even random, Snake lackeys were somehow more trustworthy and more valuable in your mind than Sakura or Kakashi or _me_. We still weren't good enough. I took out all five Peins, which even _Jiraya_ couldn't do, and I still wasn't fucking _good enough_ for you to even _ask_ to be on your stupid fucking kill Itachi team? Fuck you. Asuma died, Jiraya died, even Kakashi died for a while, and you were nowhere to help. You didn't give two shits about us. You'll ask for anyone's help but mine. Fuck, you even raised _Orochimaru_ from the _dead_ to help you rather than ask me. I was good enough for Itachi to ask for my help. But not you. Nevermind that you'd known me a hundred times better, and that I saved your ass twice in battles you were losing. What the _fuck, _Sasuke? Why am I never good enough for you!"

Naruto stood there, panting, a little stunned at all the words and emotions that had just spilled out of his mouth in a jumbled up mess. He looked over at Sasuke to find that he still hadn't even opened his eyes.

"Are you just about done?"

Naruto felt his fists clench, and wanted nothing more than to shove a rasengan through Sasuke's fucking perfect face in that moment.

"Then get the fuck out of my house."

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	4. Chapter 4 - Realization

**Summary: **The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

**Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) **language, angst, mental illness, drug use, thoughts of suicide.

**Author's note** - Oh, god. I just read Chapter 698 and I am just... soo... happy... I can't... I am feeling sweetness (very rare for me). But it won't be in this chapter yet, because of how I started the story. BUT, my goal is now for some Sasuke and Naruto sweetness at some point to happen.

Separately, to the anon reviewer who said Naruto called Sasuke's revenge stupid - he didn't. He called the PLAN stupid (because it put Sasuke at so much risk). There is an _enormous_ difference between the two statements. Just wanted to be sure that no one else was confused on that point.

-xXx-

_Naruto stood there, panting, a little stunned at all the words and emotions that had just spilled out of his mouth in a jumbled up mess. He looked over at Sasuke to find that he still hadn't even opened his eyes._

_"Are you just about done?"_

_Naruto felt his fists clench, and wanted nothing more than to shove a rasengan through Sasuke's fucking perfect face in that moment._

_"Then get the fuck out of my house."_

Sasuke didn't need to open his eyes to feel the heavy tension in the air. His lips twitched up at the corners as he imagined the outburst that he was sure would come and a thrum of what could only be described as anticipation surged through him.

It was the most alive he'd felt in months.

Three months, to be exact. Since he had last faced Naruto in battle.

The silence stretched.

Sasuke opened his eyes as he heard his front door slam shut. The sound seemed to echo hollowly through his empty house.

He lay there, unmoving, waiting to see if the blond would turn around and come back to finish their fight the way they always used to... through hand-to-hand combat. But Sasuke could feel Naruto's chakra moving away from his home. Without hesitation. Without turning back.

All the life he had felt surge through him at Naruto's presence seemed to drain away again, leaving him hollow and empty.

He had expected Naruto to attack him like he used to when they were kids and Sasuke would say something to piss Naruto off. But the shinobi who would be the next Hokage had evidently learned some restraint in the years Sasuke had been gone.

He didn't understand why he felt... _disappointed_ that Naruto had been able to restrain his temper. It implied that the blond had grown up some, which Sasuke supposed shouldn't be surprising given the events of the past several years. But somehow, it annoyed Sasuke. Naruto was not supposed to change. Naruto was supposed to be the one thing that remained constant in Sasuke's world. Naruto was not supposed to do something like grow up and learn restraint.

But even worse was the possibility that Naruto simply didn't care enough about Sasuke anymore to make it worth fighting about.

A strange feeling of emptiness washed over him, and Sasuke closed his eyes against it. Had it finally happened? Sasuke had always wondered at what point Naruto would give up on him. Naruto's steadfast belief in him had defied all logic. Why had Naruto stood by him when everyone else had turned away? Sasuke had never understood it. He knew better than anyone that he had never deserved the loyalty of the only person he had ever considered his friend.

He had done nothing to preserve it, and many things to try to shatter it. It was the final string that held Sasuke here. Had he finally severed it?

Sasuke felt annoyed that the drug was starting to wear off, making it harder to ignore his thoughts. He had been riding his high, lost in its artificial bliss until Naruto had shown up and broken the bubble. He knew he had established a rule for himself that he only would use the opium once every other day. But this one didn't really count, because it had been interrupted. Maybe… Sasuke glanced towards the kitchen where the jar sat innocently on his countertop. It wouldn't really be breaking the rule, since he allowed himself one _complete_ use of the drug, and this use had not really been _complete_.

He raked his fingers through his hair, slowly getting to his feet and walking over to the kitchen. He pulled out the silver plate and stared at it for a few moments.

Naruto's words rang in Sasuke's ears. He didn't want to talk about those things. About his decision to leave. His time with Orochimaru. His absence during the battle with Pein. Naruto's relationship with Itachi.

He didn't want to _think_ about those things. Sasuke's hand fisted on the counter.

Naruto accused Sasuke of not thinking anyone had been good enough in the village to train him. He wasn't wrong. Orochimaru had attacked the village and killed the Third Hokage, who was supposed to have been the strongest ninja in the village. Itachi had come and dropped Kakashi to the ground in less than a minute.

If Naruto didn't realize that Sasuke hadn't had a choice, then he wasn't going to bother to explain it to him. No one in the village had been strong enough.

Especially not Sasuke.

So he had gone to Orochimaru, who had already proven himself stronger than the Hokage and wouldn't shy away from taking unconventional paths to building power in others. It had been Sasuke's only choice at the time if he was going to have any chance of becoming strong enough fast enough. And the speed at which Sasuke gained his strength had become critical. When Itachi had nearly taken Naruto, Sasuke had realized he could not wait until he grew up to take Itachi on. Not unless he wanted to lose the few remaining things that mattered to him. He could not just stand there and watch it happen again. He wouldn't survive it.

So he had left.

And then he had managed to kill Orochimaru, but he had known even at the time that Itachi was stronger than Orochimaru. It was why Orochimaru had given up on trying to take Itachi's body and focused on Sasuke's instead. Defeating Orochimaru was no guarantee that Sasuke would be able to take down Itachi. How could Naruto have realistically expected Sasuke to come back and put them all at risk AGAIN by involving them in his search for Itachi when he didn't know if he was strong enough yet? The original reason Sasuke had left still stood. He was not going to watch Itachi kill the few people left that Sasuke cared about. And he definitely was not going to be the one who put them at risk in the first place by dragging them directly into Itachi's path in Sasuke's quest for revenge. Not to mention it would basically _hand_ the Akatsuki the nine tails. No. That went against everything that Sasuke had been trying to accomplish.

Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo had been under Orochimaru's control. Sasuke had freed them, putting them in his debt. And he knew they would obey him when he said he wanted to face Itachi alone, where Naruto definitely would not. If Sasuke had failed to be sufficiently strong when the time came to face Itachi, the only one who would have died was him.

If he had sought Naruto's help, and Naruto had accompanied him, then failure on Sasuke's part would cost them both their lives.

It had panicked Sasuke when Naruto kept chasing him. Following him everywhere. What if Naruto followed Sasuke to Itachi, and Itachi killed him? Why couldn't that idiot realize that Sasuke had to do this alone? Naruto so reckless… throwing himself in the path of every danger that he came across. Sasuke had done everything he could to drive Naruto away from him, and break their bond to prevent that from happening.

Of course, Sasuke admitted now that Naruto had become much stronger than he had realized. When he had last seen the blond at Orochimaru's compound, Naruto had been weakened from his battle with Orochimaru earlier. He had not seemed very strong at the time, and Sasuke had viewed this as validation in a sense of his own decision to leave the village and become stronger under Orochimaru. Naruto had stayed behind, and his progresses had seemed to slow compared to Sasuke's own.

He now knew that he had been mistaken on that count. He remembered the shock he had felt the first time he had seen Naruto use the Kyuubi's full power in battle. And when his childhood rival had been able to combine that with his sage power, surpassing even Jiraya and rivaling Hashirama…

It bothered Sasuke, in a way, that Naruto had become so strong. Stronger even that Sasuke, but without having to walk away from everything to do so.

Sasuke had given up everything, had isolated himself, and lived with monsters to force himself to become stronger. It had been lonely. Frightening. Painful. But he had thought it was the only way.

But Naruto had become strong without ever leaving the protection of the village. He had travelled with Jiraya, but with the village's blessing. Naruto had had to give up nothing, and still managed to become Sasuke's equal.

Part of Sasuke had been bitter at that realization. But part of him had also known that his decision to leave, his decision to train ruthlessly under Orochimaru, had pushed not only himself, but also his childhood rival.

Because Naruto hadn't been training to surpass Kakashi. He had been training to surpass Sasuke. And they both knew it. They both felt it.

Maybe Sasuke's leaving had been the right decision after all. It had propelled them both farther, faster than what they ever could have achieved if they he had stayed and they had continued training under Kakashi.

But it didn't mean Sasuke had no regrets. It didn't mean he felt no bitterness now that it was over.

Sasuke's stomach tightened at the remembered anguish in Naruto's voice as he'd vented just before he had left. Sasuke had known that Naruto had taken his leaving the village as a rejection of his friendship. Of their bond. And he had allowed Naruto to think that, hoping it would keep Naruto from following him in his pursuit of Itachi.

Naruto had always felt inferior to everyone, especially to Sasuke. Despite the fact that Naruto was already stronger than Sasuke when Sasuke had left, Naruto didn't see it. Because Sasuke had not acknowledged it.

So of course he would take Sasuke's actions that way. But the point was, Naruto was at least alive and_ able_ to still feel things, even if what he was feeling toward Sasuke was anger and hurt. It was better than just being dead. And Sasuke knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that Naruto would have been dead if Sasuke had stayed in the village. And Naruto would never have pushed himself to become as strong as he was now.

It had been the right choice.

Sasuke's hand rested on the lid of the jar with the sticky black paste. He slowly turned the lid, deciding he was tired of thinking so much today.

He understood completely how Itachi had felt with the choices he had made. All of them, including the choice to die.

Itachi had been dying anyway, from whatever illness he had. Though Sasuke suspected that even if there had been a treatment for Itachi's illness, his brother would not have sought it out. But it wasn't to avoid a lingering, painful death that had caused Itachi to allow Sasuke to kill him. Looking back on the battle, it was clear that Itachi had done exactly that... _allowed _Sasuke to kill him. Itachi had only wanted to be sure he damaged Sasuke enough to draw out Orochimaru from the curse mark and kill Orochimaru's essence. But he had been careful not to kill Sasuke, even though he could have at the end.

And Sasuke understood finally what Itachi had really wanted. He wanted his suffering to end. He wanted to finally be freed of the unbearably heavy press of the terrible memories and choices he had to live with. Freed from the miserable life he had been allotted, forced to commit acts that went against the very core of his nature, killing people he held dear, exiled from everyone else who mattered to him. Laden with the horrible memory of killing their parents and kin, and torturing his little brother and bearing Sasuke's hatred, when all he really had wanted to do was protect him and the village. Quite simply, Itachi had wanted to die.

He had entrusted Sasuke with the taking of his life, to bring at least one final moment of closeness with him, and prevent any further cycle of revenge. And now it was Sasuke who was left with the burden. Sasuke had hoped at the very end the final battle with Naruto might bring a similar closure for himself, but it hadn't worked out that way. Naruto had not killed him. Why did Sasuke need to be stronger than Itachi and continue living? What did it even matter now, when he had no purpose, nothing left to achieve? And now, finally, no bonds to sustain him?

Sasuke was about to lift the lid of the jar when he felt an intense, angry flare of the familiar signature of Naruto's chakra. It was coming from one of the sparring fields near Sasuke's home.

Evidently the blond shinobi wasn't as good at controlling his temper as he had been pretending. He hadn't been complacent with Sasuke's response to him at all. Sasuke felt almost relief wash over him. He tightened the cap back on the jar, leaving it untouched on his counter.

Sasuke didn't know if he was technically allowed on the training fields as he was now officially classified as a civilian, but he decided he didn't care. Considering all the rules he had broken in the village in his past, this minor infraction wouldn't even register on the scales.

-xXX-

Naruto sat on the training field, his head in his hands.

He had walked there immediately after leaving Sasuke's home, knowing that he was too angry to risk running into anyone right then.

He wove the hand signs and three shadow clones appeared. Naruto's emotions were too churned up to allow him to go into sage mode, so he simply flooded himself with chakra and released rasengan after rasengan into the hapless forest. It did nothing to sate his need for physical fighting, though, so he created more clones and fought hand-to-hand, letting his anger and frustration vent with every punch and kick that he landed.

No one could make him as _angry _as Sasuke could. Naruto wanted to scream and rage and take the forest out in his frustration. He had been an inch away from attacking Sasuke in his home, despite being sent there to heal him, not attack him. The way the arrogant bastard had just _lay _there and didn't even bother to fucking _look _at him. Why could Sasuke never just _look_ at him? Why did Sasuke never _see _him?

Naruto stood panting after the last clone was dispatched. The physical release left him feeling drained, but not better.

As his anger had started to ebb, he felt it shift slowly to anguish and something more akin to longing. Before Sasuke had left the village, he had at least looked at him. Naruto had mattered, if only a little. But he had mattered, though Sasuke even as a child had not let his guard down enough to really let Naruto in.

Naruto thought again of how Sasuke had looked reclining on his futon, his toned chest mostly bared and the cords in his pale neck visible as he had tilted his head back. Sasuke's perfect face, so cold and hard. But somehow - today- it had not been that hard. And it had set off a longing in Naruto, wanting to touch that softer side somehow. Wanting it to be because of him that Sasuke had somehow finally seemed less cold.

But it wasn't, of course. Whatever it was that Sasuke had been thinking of that had relaxed him before Naruto got there clearly had nothing to do with Naruto.

Sasuke didn't give a fuck. Naruto probably didn't even register on his radar as anything other than the ninja who had finally brought him down. But nothing more. Nothing like what Naruto felt for Sasuke.

Naruto sat down dejectedly on the stump of a fallen tree, remembering his own reaction to seeing Sasuke today after their exchange this morning. He laughed hollowly.

Because he finally knew. He finally _knew_ the real reason he had been chasing after Sasuke all these years. And everyone who had ever called Naruto an idiot had been absolutely fucking _right._

Naruto was in love with Sasuke.

Not the brotherly kind of love. Oh, no. Naruto could no longer fool himself into thinking that was what he felt for Sasuke. No. He had to go and feel the: 'my soul is being devoured by yours' kind of love. The 'I want to get naked with you on in the shower, the bedroom, the kitchen, the training field' kind of love.

And it was almost funny, because while Naruto was going through this major self-revelation of something he was now pretty sure had started when he was twelve, Sasuke was probably napping on his damn futon, as unaware of Naruto as ever.

And why should Naruto have expected differently? Sasuke had never, ever made it seem like they were anything other than reluctant teammates and later, unequal rivals.

Naruto drew a shuddering breath as he thought back. That actually wasn't entirely true. Sasuke had... shown... some... caring. Not a lot. Nothing overt. As teammates, they had both fought and nearly died to protect each other. But they had also done that for Sakura and Kakashi. That was part of being teammates in a world where you faced death frequently.

But there had been times when Sasuke had known Naruto was frustrated with his own failings or hurt by the callous treatment of others, and Sasuke had prodded him along. Harshly, but still. He had cared enough to do it. And that was something Sasuke _hadn't_ done for Sakura. Or anyone else that Naruto had ever seen.

And in their first Valley of the End battle... Naruto had been unconscious at the end. Sasuke had won, and could have killed him. Sasuke might call it a whim, but Naruto knew it was more than that. He remembered what they had said while they fought and the anguish that had shown on Sasuke's face during the battle. Sasuke liked to pretend it had been all cold and calculated, but Naruto knew better. They both did. Naruto was apparently the only one who would actually admit it, though.

But it didn't matter what had happened in the past. Sasuke seemed to feel nothing now.

And Naruto needed to figure out what to do with his own feelings, now that he had finally recognized them for what they were. How he could have mistaken them for anything else was, in retrospect, a little baffling. He had been so single-mindedly focused on Sasuke for so long. What other explanation could there possibly be?

He had kept telling himself he had been in love with Sakura, but when she had come and basically offered herself to him, all he had felt was disappointment and mild revulsion. She was supposed to love Sasuke. Not Naruto. And when she had hugged him, a wave of anger had washed over him. Not lust. _How dare she betray their teammate? How dare she give up on Sasuke?_

Naruto realized that it had been convenient to 'love' Sakura. Most of the boys in the academy had a crush on her, so Naruto had just followed along. It was part of his goal of becoming accepted by the village and fitting in, finally. If he could get the attention of the most popular girl, then wouldn't that mean he had partially achieved that? And if that girl had to choose between him and Sasuke, then that would have meant Naruto would have won at something over his rival.

And somehow that last point had been the point that had really driven him in his pursuit of Sakura, if he were brutally honest with himself. It wasn't something he was proud of. But he had wanted Sakura to want him, because then it would mean he was better than Sasuke in some way. But when it had actually seemed to _happen_, all he had felt was anger. Not attraction, nor victory.

Because in reality, he had no desire to be with Sakura.

It had always been Sasuke.

Naruto didn't know if he felt better or worse with the knowledge. It certainly explained things. Like how he never seriously pursued a girl or anyone else other than Sasuke.

But it somehow made his whole effort to bring Sasuke back to the village feel less noble. Because he knew now that he had in fact _not_ been trying to bring Sasuke back based on some altruistic notion of returning a damaged child of the village to his home, or even more specifically taking care of a teammate who had strayed.

No.

Naruto had wanted to bring Sasuke back to _him_. Because he... _wanted_ Sasuke. Naruto felt the truth of those words resonate through his core. Yes. He wanted Sasuke. He wanted him in every sense of that word. He wanted his attention. His respect. His friendship. His trust. His body. His soul.

All of it.

Every last facet that was Sasuke, Naruto wanted it for himself. With an intensity that was actually a little bit frightening.

The idea of possessing Sasuke flooded through him, giving him a heady rush.

Naruto tamped down viciously on his emotions. He had to get control of himself. Just because Naruto had finally realized that he wanted Sasuke did not mean that Sasuke would ever want him back. In fact, everything that Naruto knew about Sasuke would indicate that the man was completely antisocial and asexual. Sasuke just didn't seem to need or want anyone at all on any level, except maybe Itachi. Any companionship he had sought beyond that in the past was only what was required out of necessity as a ninja.

_But Sasuke needs you now_. Naruto drew back from the thought as though burned. There was something seductive and... wrong... about feeling this way towards Sasuke when he was so broken and... Naruto would have used the word 'vulnerable', but somehow that just didn't fit with Sasuke. But still, Naruto would have to be careful to not take advantage of the situation. Whatever he had done in the past, he could honestly say he had thought at the time he was doing it for noble reasons. Now that he understood his true motivation, however, he would have to tread more carefully. He was no longer a child.

He thought briefly about telling Tsunade and asking to be removed from the assignment, but he knew that they would never have come to him if it hadn't been the last resort. In order to help Sasuke, Naruto wasn't being sent on missions unless absolutely necessary, which cost the village money. And Naruto was probably the last person Tsunade would call in a medical situation, being more of a bull in a china shop most of the time with stuff like that.

No, this was clearly the only option Tsunade had been able to come up with, and Naruto wouldn't let Sasuke lose it and end up in jail just because Naruto couldn't handle his emotions. Whatever Naruto felt, it didn't change the reality of their relationship nor what his purpose was in spending time with Sasuke at this point.

He needed to do what Tsunade asked him to do, and give Sasuke time to recover. If at some later point Sasuke became interested in dating someone... then... Naruto could get in line with everyone else and see if he could make the cut.

He had watched Sakura throw herself at Sasuke for years. He would not infringe on Sasuke's life in that way. Nor would he humiliate himself by being purposely dense about Sasuke's need for companionship. It was bad enough Naruto had literally chased Sasuke all over the Fire Country for as many years as he had. He would be there for his friend in the way that Tsunade has asked him. But he would not push for more without some indication that Sasuke would welcome it.

Naruto stood as he took in the devastation he had wrought on the landscape of the training grounds.

And he sensed a familiar chakra approaching him, and his stomach clenched viscously in both anticipation and dread.

_Sasuke._

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	5. Chapter 5 - Spar

**Summary: **The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

**Warning: Yaoi (Boy x Boy) **language, sparring, sexual thoughts, masturbation. 17+

**Author's note** - Sorry. I know the sex is taking a long time to come (for me, too!) but... I just... this is what they do. In my head. Thanks to Theehotnerd for chatting with me a bit about this scene and keeping me from giving up. I am sort of just... rolling around in emotions in this fic. Because the manga is messing with my head, since it didn't give me resolution on a few key emotional things like Itachi and other things, so... anyway, I'll stop talking now. The good news is that I now have a clearer idea of what I need this fic to deliver to me. So that means I am going to finish it for sure now. I think.

-xXx-

Naruto looked up as Sasuke entered the clearing. The mere sight of Sasuke - the way he moved, the way he looked - pulled viscerally at Naruto. It always had. But now it was colored by Naruto's new awareness of the true nature of his feelings. The awareness of the other's body took on a new purpose, a new meaning. Naruto forced back a shudder at the fleeting thought that they were alone in the wooded part of the training field.

Naruto tamped the seductive thought down, knowing it served no purpose. And was potentially dangerous, should they be detected by the man looking at him with amused black eyes. After all, Sasuke had beheaded the last man to make overt sexual advances toward him. And though he had chosen to revive him later, it wasn't exactly encouragement for anyone else to casually give it a try.

Sasuke stood with his legs slightly apart, surveying the wreckage Naruto had unleashed on the training grounds. He was dressed in his usual garb, dark blue pants and loose white shirt tied with his purple obi. All clean, thanks to Naruto. He smirked at the tangible evidence that Naruto was not a controlled as he had tried to appear at his house.

"Here I thought you had become all grown up," Sasuke said, not bothering to hide the fact that he was pleased by the evidence that this was not true. The idea of a coolly controlled Naruto had not sat well with him.

He noticed that Naruto's gaze on him seemed unusually intense. Sasuke was used to the way that those blue eyes always followed him wherever he went, starting from the very first day they had met as children. But now, there was something darker in the gaze that hadn't been there before.

Naruto blinked and his eyes cleared, but the residual feel of that look had set Sasuke's blood thrumming in anticipation. He had come to spar, and Naruto seemed already primed for it.

"I just needed to blow off some steam," Naruto's voice sounded forcedly nonchalant. "My immunity to asshole has weakened since you've been gone from the village for so long."

Sasuke smirked, feeling a surge of pleasure at the knowledge that he was responsible for making Naruto's composure crack. This was what he had come here for. The familiar feel and rhythm of their taunting. The way Naruto's eyes were tracking his every movement. Somehow, the slight, lingering haziness from the opium made him feel the coil of power that much more acutely as he realized that time had not erased Naruto's fixation on him. Naruto might have won their last battle, but the blond still craved Sasuke's attention and recognition, just as he always had.

"The Hero of Konoha" still needed approval from the nuke nin that half the village despised. That knowledge flooded through Sasuke, making his blood heat and somehow pool low in his belly.

Sasuke didn't want to talk anymore. His body had been sedentary for too many weeks, and suddenly he felt like he had a nearly infinite amount of energy that needed to be burned off. He flexed his knees slightly into a ready stance, knowing Naruto would respond. "I'd be more than happy to help you with that," Sasuke said.

Naruto forced his mind back from where it had instantly gone when those words had left Sasuke's lips. He swallowed convulsively, mentally cursing Jiraya for giving him so much mental imagery to fuel his wayward thoughts.

Sasuke noticed the slight widening of Naruto's eyes at his words, and the way the blond's adams apple bobbed harshly in his throat. _Is_ _Naruto... nervous?_

'Nervous' had never been a response Naruto had exhibited when he had been challenged to spar, and Sasuke doubted it would be now. He narrowed his eyes, examining Naruto's body language more closely. _No. Not nervous. But definitely... tense_. Not sure what was going through Naruto's mind, Sasuke somewhat mockingly making the two-fingered seal of confrontation from their academy days, signaling his intent to spar.

Naruto snorted out a laugh, giving Sasuke a middle-fingered version of the sign before hesitating, then giving the proper one, a strange feeling of nostalgia washing through him for the children they had been.

"We can't use chakra, though. If you activate your Sharingan, Anbu will probably come. My guess is that at least Kakashi is keeping an eye on your chakra levels, just in case you go off on another drunken rampage on someone," Naruto was only half-joking. Sasuke was still on probation and not technically supposed to even be on the sparring fields. But that was irrelevant to the two shinobi. The pull was just too strong. Their friendship and rivalry had been born on the training fields.

At a certain level, it simply came down to the fact that they were ninjas. They _liked_ the feel of the fight that taijutsu provided. The adrenaline rush. The feel of pushing your body to its physical limit. The intimacy of the contact with your sparring partner.

This was how they had always communicated best. It was at the core of their bond.

Now, finally, they were here again on a field they had trained together as children. They were older now. Deadlier. But still, on some level, the same two children who had had only each other so many years ago.

They circled each other slowly, both savoring the feeling of anticipation of what was about to happen.

Sasuke's expression was one of almost boredom. Except for his eyes. They glinted with a level of anticipation that echoed Naruto's own. Naruto grinned.

And then Sasuke was in motion, his movement so fluid it could be called graceful if every action didn't carry the threat of death.

Naruto's body was already responding, blocking, and counter-attacking. He wondered, before a side-kick to his head required his attention, how many of Sasuke's opponents had simply been too mesmerized by the man's lethally fluid beauty to bother getting out of his way.

The world had narrowed down to the two of them as they faced off. The practiced precision of their movements making it seem almost like they were dancing, except when a tree branch would explode into splinters as one of them successfully dodged a blow from the other. Sasuke felt himself relaxing into the familiar feel of sparring with Naruto. It had been years since he had faced an opponent that he had truly been able to trust would not actually try to kill him at some point during the spar. Possibly more a statement of Sasuke's lack of ability to trust anyone than any real deception on their part, but true nonetheless.

But it was different with Naruto.

It had always been different with Naruto.

Sasuke's thoughts were disrupted as a kick from Naruto nearly swept his legs out from under him, forcing Sasuke to flip backwards out of the way. Naruto's eyes gleamed at the temporary retreat. If Sasuke were capable of it, he would have grinned, despite the fact that he had been forced to cede ground. He loved that Naruto could push him like this. He loved the total focus that was required for him to avoid getting slammed into the ground. He wondered what it would be like to spar with Naruto when he was in full tailed-beast mode. The thought of all that power facing off against him again sent another spike of heat through his body. It was almost worth trying to get Tsunade to accept him just for the chance to spar full out with Naruto again. As friends, rather than enemies.

Sasuke could almost hear the pulse in Naruto's throat as he closed distance. Without even seeing Naruto move, he could sense the circular block that was coming, knowing that a counter to his back would follow. No matter how much time had passed, this link never seemed to fade. Their ability to read each other's intent and actions. It had been surprising at how easily it had slid back into place during their battle together against Obito and the Ten Tails. The had fought instinctively as partners, just as they had years ago. Bfore Sasuke had left.

Sasuke was gratified to see that he still had a slight edge on Naruto in terms of speed as he shifted his attack mid-strike to block Naruto's. Their bodies were briefly locked flush together, and Sasuke saw Naruto's eyes dilate slightly as the blond drew another shuddering breath.

Taking it for the opening that it was, Sasuke rapidly straightened his arms, providing just enough space between them for him to step back and send a side trust kick directly towards Naruto's solar plexus.

Naruto's eyes snapped back to focus an instant before the blow hit, and he was able to fall back enough to make the strike simply wind him slightly rather than dropping him to the ground.

They didn't hold back or go easy on each other. The refusal to lose to each other still burned strong. Sasuke had ceded defeat the last time they had fought. He had no plans to do so today.

. . . . . .

Naruto bit back a curse as he felt Sasuke's foot connect with his stomach. Luckily, he had enough backward momentum going that it didn't do much damage. But it had made him retreat, meaning that they were now even again with sparring if one was keeping score. Which, of course, they were.

When Sasuke had countered his attack and put them into a temporary deadlock, Naruto had allowed himself to be distracted. Why had he never noticed before how the arch of Sasuke's neck right below the ear was so appealing? He had felt an almost uncontrollable urge to bring his face just the slightest bit forward and brush his cheek across that spot. The thought had just entered his head when Sasuke had shifted his stance and nearly drove a foot through Naruto's chest.

Sasuke was a lethal opponent and Naruto knew better than to lounge around daydreaming when they sparred, or Sasuke would hand him his ass. Naruto might have won the last time, but there was no guarantee he would win again today. He smirked slightly at the thought of what Tsunade would likely have to say about all this. He knew this was not exactly what she had in mind when she had sent Naruto to interact with Sasuke. But Naruto knew that - whatever their differences might be - Sasuke was like Naruto in at least this one thing. There was nothing that Sasuke or Naruto understood better than fighting.

Naruto felt the familiar, heady rush that sparring with Sasuke had always brought him. As a child, he had hungered for the Uchiha's attention. The only time he knew he truly held it had been when they sparred. The complete focus Sasuke had always given any form of battle ensured this, but somehow Naruto had always felt it was even more intense when it was the two of them. Their eyes locked on each other. Their bodies tuned to even the tiniest tensing of a limb of the other.

Jiraya had once told Naruto that sparring with someone who was your equal was just as intimate as sex.

Naruto felt that thought snake through his consciousness and threaten his focus again, but he blew out a breath and attacked instead, combining a leg sweep with a spinning back kick, just missing connecting with Sasuke's hip.

He reveled in the feel of Sasuke's eyes on him. Not burning with insanity or the desire to kill him. Not anymore. They held the look that Naruto had hungered for during those years after Sasuke had left the village. The arrogant, focused look that Sasuke would get when a match between them was going well, challenging him. Pushing him.

It had always been when Naruto thought Sasuke was the closest that the Uchiha could ever get to being actually happy.

It made Naruto's grin reappear to see that look on Sasuke's face again after so long. And oddly made his throat tighten as well. He had longed for this. Longed for Sasuke.

. . . .

The cry of a hawk caused Naruto and Sasuke to both look up out of habit, halting their spar. Tsunade was summoning Naruto.

Naruto frowned, seeing Sasuke's face shift instantly back from the slight pleasure that had been showing to the cold, emotionless mask he always wore. The slight flush on Sasuke's cheeks from their exertions would take longer to fade, but Naruto was bothered more than he was able to understand by the return of the mask. Naruto watched a bead of sweat trickle down Sasuke's throat into the hollow at the base of his neck.

He wrenched his gaze away, earning a coolly raised brow from his old teammate.

"I have to go," Naruto said pointlessly. Sasuke already knew this. It hadn't been so long that he'd forgotten the sign when someone was summoned.

Sasuke waited while Naruto grabbed the anbu vest he had removed when he had begun sparring with his clones earlier that day.

"I'll come by after I find out what she wants. I can... cook dinner or something?"

Sasuke shrugged, already turning back towards the village. "Whatever."

Sasuke did not look back as he made his way back to the Uchiha grounds.

Naruto watched him leave, too many emotions swirling around inside him to be able to express any of them.

The hawk cried again, and Naruto threw it a glare. "Alright! I'm coming, already."

-xXx-

Naruto arrived at Tsunade's office, feeling irritated. He felt as though she had interrupted something... important.

"Naruto," Tsunade said, her tone indicating that this had not been a frivolous summons. "I know I had told you that I did not want you taking on any more missions while you were working with Sasuke, but we received information today that must be acted on immediately."

She handed Naruto a scroll in Sai's precise handwriting that gave detailed information on a hideout that Danzo had used for only his top advisors. If anything were to contain detailed information about his role in Itachi's actions, it would be located here.

"I knew that you would want to be involved personally in any possible retrieval effort. Sai and his team will meet you at this location. If you leave now, you should be there by nightfall. You will be gone three days maximum."

Naruto slipped the paper into his pack. He hadn't spoken of Itachi to Sasuke. Of that fact that many of his missions since the end of the war had been to dig up the buried skeletons that the Council had tried to hide. Gaara was doing the same in Suna. The findings so far had been... beyond what even Sasuke likely had thought they had been capable of. Naruto would be Hokage. And he would make good on his promise to make sure that something like the Uchiha massacre could never happen again.

But the Council had had its teeth into many people, and there were very few people that Naruto or Tsunade would trust to collect documentation without altering or destroying it. It was ironic that Sai, who had originally been Root, was one of the few. But his word would be doubted by some, given his former affiliation, so Naruto knew that he would have to go. Kakashi had been sent on a mission just before Tsunade had received word from Sai, which left only Naruto. It was critical that no one else know anything about what they were trying to do. Too many people had a vested interest in letting old bones lie.

But of anything that Naruto could imagine could do something to heal Sasuke, clearing Itachi was the one thing that probably still mattered to him. The council had been killed before there could be any investigation or trial. Itachi's name was still not on the memorial stone.

It was small. It wouldn't undo the horrendous damage that had been done. But it was one thing that Naruto knew he needed to see done. For Sasuke. And for Itachi. Naruto would make at least this one small thing right.

Naruto nodded tersely to Tsunade, already listing out in his head the few things he would need to do and pack before he left.

-xXx-

Sasuke was seated at his kitchen table. He had returned from sparring feeling oddly revitalized. He had showered and changed, feeling almost... anticipation at the thought of Naruto coming to his house again.

He hadn't so much as glanced at the jar of sticky black paste that was sitting innocuously on his counter. In all honesty he had completely forgotten about it as he rummaged through his cupboards to see what he had that they could cook, ignoring the numerous bottles of sake that were also stored there. He felt no need for it tonight.

He could feel Naruto approaching his home and he looked expectantly toward the door. Naruto knocked and Sasuke leaned back against the kitchen counter, deciding the blond could determine on his own whether the door was trapped or not.

"It's unlocked," Sasuke said, purposely ambiguous about where or not there were additional barriers to entry.

There was a pause as Naruto likely checked for traps before the door was opened. Naruto was dressed in full anbu gear, his mask pushed up onto the top of his head, revealing his face.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto began, scratching the back of his head. "Uh... I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I won't be able to make dinner for you tonight. Something... came up, and I have a mission that can't be assigned to someone else."

Sasuke let none of the strange disappointment he felt show on his face. "You're going alone?"

Naruto hesitated, then shook his head. He supposed it was safe enough to at least tell Sasuke this much. "I'm meeting Sai and his team. I should be back within three days. Rain-check on dinner?"

Sasuke walked over to the counter where he had set and onion and some ginger out. He picked them up and returned them to the basket in the base of his pantry. "Don't you need to be going then?" His voice was inflectionless.

"Sasuke..." Naruto said, blowing out a breath. He could tell the man was... unhappy. "I have to do this."

"No one is disagreeing. You should get going."

Naruto looked at Sasuke's eyes, noticing that the energy that they had held when he first arrived was now gone. They appeared dead - like they had that first night that Naruto had come to Sasuke's home.

"Just... I'll be back soon, and I'll come here as soon as I get back."

Sasuke said nothing, and Naruto - knowing he had to hurry if he was going to meet up with Sai before anyone entered the hideout - sighed before sliding his mask in place and turning back towards the door.

. . . . . . . . . .

Sasuke turned back to the pantry, taking out one of the many sake bottles he kept there. He no longer felt like cooking.

He poured himself a glass of sake, swallowing it without even tasting it before pouring himself another. Experience had taught him that it would take at least six glasses before his mind was numb enough that he would stop thinking.

He wondered what Naruto's mission was. The war was over... shouldn't that mean there weren't dangerous missions anymore that required Naruto's skills?

Of course, Sasuke wasn't naïve enough to believe that war ever brought peace. It simply suppressed violence for a bit, until people had licked their wounds enough to try again.

And Sai. Sasuke swallowed his second glass. He really didn't like Sai, he thought, as he poured himself another glass. He didn't know exactly what it was about the guy that bugged him. Other than the fact that he was obviously Sasuke's replacement on Team 7.

He wondered if he had replaced Sasuke in Naruto's eyes or not.

Sasuke swallowed his third glass, leaning back in his chair now as the familiar buzz set in.

Naruto's eyes.

He wondered if Naruto's eyes followed Sai the way that they had always followed Sasuke.

Sasuke poured his fourth glass with more violence than was necessary, spilling some.

No, he really didn't like Sai.

If Sasuke hadn't left, _he_ would be the one that Naruto was going on the mission to meet.

Sasuke closed his eyes, knowing that the alcohol and the memories that sparring with Naruto on the old training grounds had dredged up were muddling his thoughts.

His pale, slender fingers turned the small, flat sake cup before picking it up and pouring its contents through his parted lips.

The anger that usually kept him from sleep was a stale, bitter anger against Danzo, the council, Madara, Itachi and Sasuke's own choices - things that he could no longer do anything about.

The anger he felt this evening about the thought of Naruto on a mission with Sai was sharp and fresh. Cleaner, somehow. And it didn't make him feel as impotent as the older angers.

Sasuke grabbed a fresh bottle of sake and took it to his living room stumbling once before settling back on his futon before pouring himself another glass. His sixth? No, his fifth. Two more to go before he would be able to drift.

He drank the glass, letting his mind go where it wanted. He already could feel the room spinning.

Sparring with Naruto had brought back so many memories he had tried to bury. Having someone he trusted to train with. The feeling of being pushed to his limits, having someone challenge him without trying to destroy him. Someone who would both make him stronger but also have his back if he faltered. It was that safety net that Sasuke had feared the most. Feared that having it would make him weak.

Would it have?

He didn't know.

But more than anything, he had forgotten how it felt to have Naruto's eyes follow him like that. Not because they were locked in a battle trying to kill each other.

Of course he'd pay attention then.

But it was different. When they sparred. Even before they sparred.

When Sasuke had first entered the clearing.

Naruto's eyes had been... so _blue_. So focused on Sasuke... on everything about him. Sasuke poured his sixth glass, missing part of the glass but still managing to fill it to the brim.

Sasuke remembered the look in Naruto's eyes when they had been locked together briefly during their spar. They had darkened, the pupils dilating. There was a dark intensity in Naruto's look that was... different... from the way he had looked at him before. And it had pulled at Sasuke differently.

Sasuke sipped from his glass, feeling the same heat in his lower stomach that he had felt when they had been sparring. He closed his eyes, remembering the heat of Naruto's body as they had been pressed against each other, the raw power of the blond's body that he was able to feel thrumming against his.

Without thinking, his hand slid down over the fabric of his trousers, closing around the erection that had formed there.

Sasuke set his glass down, only half finished as he watched the sight of his own fingers slowly pumping up and down his clothed erection.

He had masturbated before. He had already left the village when he'd had his first wet dream. It was had been embarrassing and annoying. But there had been a wealth of medical books in Orochimaru's hideouts. Sasuke had quickly learned that wet dreams were simply the male body's way of getting rid of sperm that had built up before they degraded and became ineffective. As long as a male ejaculated weekly, wet dreams would be minimized or even nonexistent.

Sasuke had masturbated, not thinking of anything at all, simply one of his bodily functions that had to be attended to in order to avoid annoyingly sticky mornings and disturbing, shadowy dreams. It brought him only minimal pleasure, certainly not anything worth repeating with more frequency than was necessary.

But he had never gotten hard thinking about a specific person.

Sasuke leaned back, experimentally stroking his shaft while keeping the image of Naruto's face in his mind.

He felt his cock harden further, and a rush of heat spiked through his body unexpectedly.

"_Nnnngggggg," _he breathed out, gasping at the unfamiliar intensity of the pleasure. He untied the cloth around his waist and ties of his pants, then pulled out his cock.

This was completely different from the mechanical sessions he had done in the past.

Sasuke felt sweat break out on his upper lip as his body temperature rose. He lifted his hips and pushed his pants down to his knees, kicking them off, allowing complete access to his shaft. He spread his legs and leaned back, closing his eyes as his hand gripped his cock, the sensation even stronger now that the skin of his palm was sliding directly against dick.

He focused on the way Naruto's eyes had drifted to his throat, then locked back with his own gaze. His hand moved faster as he remembered the heat and scent of Naruto when they had been sparring, the way his muscles had moved beneath the tan skin that had been slickened with sweat.

He focused then on Naruto's mouth, the look of the pink lips, the way the moved when he laughed. Sasuke's dick was now dripping precum, the moisture slickening his hand. He imagined, instead, that the moisture came from Naruto's mouth, as Sasuke thrust into the open pink lips and...

"_Ahhnn, fuck!_" Sasuke came, shooting ribbons of cum, his stomach muscles clenching and shuddering with the force of his orgasm.

He lay back, panting, his mind hazy from the alcohol and the aftermath of his climax.

After several minutes, Sasuke stretched over and grabbed a tissue from the small table by the futon.

_What the hell?_

-xXx-

_to be continued..._


	6. Chapter 6 - Shower

**Summary: **The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

**Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) **masturbation, oral sex 17+

xXx-

Naruto relaxed fractionally when the gates of Konoha came into view. He hadn't slept since he left the village. Tsunade had impressed upon him that the subversive reach of the council had been broad and deep, and there were many people who would not be happy to have their secrets brought to the light of day.

Naruto had been in sage mode the entire mission, both to be able to detect if there were a traitor in their midst and also to provide early warning if someone was approaching their location. Even with their chakra concealed, Naruto would be able to sense them coming as long as he was in sage mode.

Every trip he had made tracking down council business had been like this. He would return home and sleep for almost twenty-four hours, then be fine. But first he needed to deliver what he had found to Tsunade. Because _finally_ he had actually found something. All the other locations they had learned of they had arrived too late, finding the places gutted and everything burned. But this one… this one had been left intact. Naruto wasn't sure if it was because the only people who had known about it were dead, or if the location was viewed as well-guarded enough to be considered 'safe'. Naruto had met up with Sai and his team and had spent the first twenty-four hours removing tags, seals, and other traps that were meant to destroy the contents of the library and files if anyone tried to get in.

Danzo had been a paranoid bastard, but Sai was highly skilled and had paid attention during his years in Root. He knew exactly what to look for. There had only been one or two surprises that might have been nasty, but luckily there had been chakra-embedded in the seals and Naruto had been able to detect them in sage mode.

Sai and his team would spend the next week finishing up going through the materials, but Naruto had wanted to return immediately to show Tsunade what they had found so far. There was clear documentation that Danzo had given the order for the Uchiha Clan massacre. And the council had approved.

Itachi had been following orders, and there was no refuting that now.

Tsunade would have to act. She had given her word that if there were hard evidence found about what Danzo had done, Itachi would be cleared and his name added to the memorial stone. Especially after the help he gave during the war, releasing the Edo Tensei jutsu, the man deserved at least that much. In Naruto's mind, Itachi would have been cleared already had he been alive to request it. With Sasuke being on probation and regarded so hostilely by many of the village, Naruto knew it would fall to him to be the one to clear Itachi's name. And hopefully clear some of the anger directed at Sasuke as well. Because there was also no doubt that if the council had not given the order to have Sasuke's family massacred, Sasuke would never have turned into the criminal he had become. If Naruto could get the village to accept that Itachi had acted under the council's orders, then they would have to also accept that the blame for many of Sasuke's actions could also be laid at the council's feet.

Naruto nodded to Raidou and Genma at the gate, not stopping to chat like he otherwise might.

He was excited that he now held documents that would start that process in motion. But it was the other set of documents in Naruto's pack that were going to be the problem. The documents that were the first of many that Sai would come back with.

Documents that laid out who the council's main supporters were, and what other things they had done in the name of 'preserving peace'. If Tsunade had though the council's reach was broad before, she was in for a hell of a surprise when she realized just how deep it really was.

-xXx-

Sasuke lay naked and spent on his bed, tangled in dirty crimson sheets. The past couple of days were a bit of a blur for him. His discovery of his latent sexual desires had been almost overwhelming. The intensity with which those feelings had seared through him had left him almost weak.

For some reason, the lust he had felt was somehow fueled by the anger that had blossomed when he had learned that Naruto had gone on a mission with Sai.

The lust he was beginning to understand, but the anger was more concerning to him. Part of his anger he recognized was pride. The fact that Tsunade evidently still had S-rank missions that required the skills of two fairly high level Shinobi (not that Sai was in his or Naruto's league, but the pale boy did seem to have some skills with seals and things), but she still refused to even consider asking Sasuke for anything.

Not that he didn't understand her reasoning. He had been a traitor to the village for years, after all. But it still rankled.

But there was more to it than that.

Sasuke wasn't the best at introspection, but even he would acknowledge that a much larger part of his anger had been the way Naruto had spoken Sai's name, complete trust and respect coloring his voice.

Naruto liked going on missions with Sai.

Sasuke thought back to the missions that he and Naruto had gone on together as children. The intense bonding that had occurred through having each other's backs through life-and-death situations. The way one grows to know ones teammate through the hours spent travelling together. Eating together. Sleeping next to each other.

Sasuke's hand fisted at the thought.

Sleeping together at this age could entail different things than it had for him and Naruto when they were young. Sasuke had never had any interest in sex before. He had been too focused on trying to erase the nightmares from his mind that Itachi had implanted, and focusing on killing first Orochimaru then Itachi and finally Danzo while trying to avoid getting killed himself.

Nothing else had mattered to him.

But now…. Sasuke lay back against the pillows of his bed, and took another drink from the sake bottle that was on his nightstand. His thoughts were disrupted when he faintly registered a familiar chakra some distance away.

Naruto was back in the village.

He hoped Naruto was still a ninja of his word. He had promised he'd come to Sasuke's house as soon as he finished his mission.

-xXx-

Naruto felt nearly delirious with the need for sleep when he left Tsunade's office. Her eyes had widened, then hardened when she had read the contents of the documents he had brought her. He had taken the most damning ones, but he assured her that Sai and his team had others as well.

The documents were placed in the most heavily warded and guarded vault in Konoha. No one but a Hokage could open it.

She had given her word that she would begin the process of clearing Itachi now. It was made complicated by the fact that the people who were complicit with the council and Danzo would be made aware that they were at risk once Itachi's name was cleared. So Naruto had reluctantly agreed to wait until Sai and his team had cleared the last hideout before they would begin the process, to ensure that council allies didn't attack his team and try to prevent the rest of the evidence of their activities from being brought to light. Tsunade had said that - given the extent of the situation - they might even have to wait until key arrests were made, lest some of the guilty parties simply vanish before they could be apprehended. Most had the money and resources to do so.

Naruto had nodded wearily at that, hating it but understanding the reasons. He had gotten what he wanted, even if it would be delivered more slowly than he had hoped.

When he had asked if he could tell Sasuke, Tsunade had hesitated, but eventually said no. Sasuke was simply too unstable, and who knew what he might do or say about the matter if he lost control while drunk?

Naruto hadn't agreed. Had said nothing at all. Tsunade had noted the silence but didn't push. In the end, she would trust Naruto's judgement. He would be the next Hokage. And no one knew the Uchiha better than the man standing before her.

She had dismissed him, telling him to go home and sleep then report back the next morning to discuss the situation further.

Naruto was brought out of his thoughts when he reached the desolation of the Uchiha Clan grounds.

Before he could sleep, he had promised he'd go see Sasuke. It was eleven o'clock in the morning, but he had no idea if the nin would be up yet or not. It probably depended on whether or not he'd been drinking the night before. Naruto shifted uncomfortably at the thought.

Seeing Sasuke drunk was…

Naruto blew out a breath. He would not take advantage of the situation. Just because his feelings had changed about Sasuke, it did not give him the right to do anything about it when Sasuke was in that condition.

Naruto knocked on the door, but didn't hear a response. He checked but found no new tags or seals on the door, so he slowly opened it and went inside.

The kitchen looked fairly clean, but walking further into the house Naruto saw empty bottles of sake, and a misplaced jar of some sort of spice paste that Naruto didn't recognize in Sasuke's livingroom.

"Sasuke, you bastard! I'm not your fucking maid. Get your ass out here and help me clean up!"

Naruto heard a slight laugh coming from Sasuke's bedroom, but no sound of Sasuke actually coming out to help. Too tired to deal with cleaning up Sasuke's shit right now, Naruto headed into Sasuke's bedroom.

The scent of sex hit his senses like a ton of bricks. Naruto had always had a heightened sense of smell, though not as developed as the Inuzuka clan. Whether it was from the Kyuubi or simply a trait of his ancestors he wasn't sure. But at that moment he wished more than anything that he didn't know what Sasuke had evidently been doing while Naruto had been off clearing Itachi's name.

Though even without the scent, there was no mistaking the disheveled state Sasuke was in nor the telltale stains on his sheets. Naruto felt a bitter jealousy swirl through him. He closed his eyes and drew a breath, trying to hold back the mental images that the scent evoked in him. The empty sake bottles on his nightstand explained why Sasuke was simply lounging back against the pillows, his cheeks slightly flushed, and eyes amused and heavy lidded.

Naruto forced himself to not think about Sasuke drinking and fucking someone in those crimson sheets. And he tried not to wonder who it was. He dug his nails into his palms, knowing he had no right to be angry or jealous. Sasuke could have sex with whomever he wanted. There was no relationship between Naruto and Sasuke… there was barely a friendship. And Tsunade had hinted at one point that sex would actually be good for Sasuke, but he just didn't seem to be interested. Evidently that had now changed. Jealousy ate into Naruto at the thought.

The red bedsheet barely covered Sasuke's thighs and groin, but most of his torso and lower legs were bare, leaving Naruto with no misunderstanding that he was naked beneath the sheet.

"It stinks in here. Go wash yourself off. I'll clean the sheets." More than anything, Naruto just wanted to erase the presence of whomever had shared Sasuke's bed. He wanted to burn the sheets, not wash them.

Sasuke snickered and Naruto realized the man was still drunk. "I would have thought traveling with Jiraya for so long would have made you less of a prude, Dobe," Sasuke taunted.

Naruto felt an almost uncontrollable urge to grab Sasuke by the shoulders and shake him. Sasuke was supposed to be untouchable. The evidence that someone had been touching him seemed to burn Naruto's soul.

He turned and headed towards the bathroom before he did something he'd regret. "I'll get the shower going. Get your ass out of bed and into the shower, or so help me Sasuke I'll drag you there naked and throw you in. We're cleaning this room now."

Sasuke lay back, feeling the room pleasantly spinning. Naruto was really angry. Sasuke wasn't sure why, but it made him incredibly happy. He heard the sound of his shower being turned on.

Truth be told, he wouldn't mind a shower. Being covered in his own cum was not entirely pleasant. He stretched his arms over his head, pressing them against the wall and arching his back slightly to relieve the aches in his muscles.

He opened his eyes to find Naruto's hooded gaze fixed on him. There was that same dark look that Sasuke had noticed when they were sparring. He felt the same coil of anticipation swirl through him as he felt before battle. Beneath the sheets, he felt his groin stir.

The idea of fighting and fucking seemed to bring the same heat to his body and focus to his mind. Sasuke didn't let his mind linger on whether that thought should be disturbing.

He locked his gaze on Naruto, feeling an almost primal surge of heat at the intensity of the blue depths. Wanting to see more of Naruto's reaction, Sasuke casually pushed the sheet aside and stood, flaunting his nudity, his movements surprisingly fluid despite the spinning of the room.

He saw Naruto's eyes drop to his half-hardened cock. The slow blush that spread across Naruto's cheekbones seemed to drive an answering heat in his own blood. His brain, fogged by the alcohol, reveled in the anger and hunger that seared out of Naruto's eyes. Sasuke wanted more of it. .

It was the first thing that Sasuke had truly wanted in months. He saw no reason not to pursue it.

"Go wash off," Naruto said, ripping his gaze from Sasuke and turning back to the hallway.

Sasuke felt his lips twitch. He let his gaze slide down Naruto's back to his ass, covered in the dirty Anbu uniform.

He followed Naruto out, only weaving slightly. He didn't want Naruto to walk away yet. And he had always been able to find the right buttons to push on Naruto to make him engage. "Since when did you become Anbu? I didn't even know you'd made it past Genin."

As Sasuke had hoped, Naruto turned to look at him before quickly snapping his head back to look somewhere else. Sasuke walked into the bathroom and stepped into the running shower. He didn't bother pulling the shower curtain closed, not caring if some of the spray wet the tiled floor of his bathroom.

"Well?" Sasuke prodded tersely.

Naruto huffed, but walked into the bathroom just far enough for them to be able to talk. Sasuke hid his smirk by leaning forward slightly and letting the water pull his hair over his face.

"I only wear Anbu gear when I go on missions that require it. I'm not technically part of Anbu, but Baa-chan decided that my performance during the war pretty much surpassed any of the tests she would have had. I don't know what my official rank is. In a couple of years it won't matter anyway."

"Because you'll be Hokage," Sasuke supplied, reaching for the cake of soap and applying some liberally to the washcloth that Naruto had thoughtfully set out on the ledge of the shower area when he turned the water on for him. His head was still slightly spinning, but not enough that he would lose his balance. After all his years of training, he had found he was able to keep his balance unless he was literally passing out.

Sasuke set the soap down and began washing himself with the lathered cloth. The way Naruto's eyes followed the motion of the cloth over his neck and collarbone sent a spike of heat through him. Sasuke felt the room tilt slightly as the alcohol in his blood seemed to pulse with the heat from Naruto's eyes.

Sasuke leaned back into the corner of the shower stall, spreading his legs slightly to gain a stronger foothold as he let the washcloth slide over his pecs and abs, washing away the evidence of his first self-exploration of his sexuality.

As his hand slid lower, he realized that sex was definitely more intense as a two-person sport, even if one of them was just watching. Sasuke felt his shaft harden under Naruto's gaze. He took the washcloth, sliding it around his erection, not bothering to disguise the pumping motion of his hand.

Naruto jerked his gaze away, turning his back on Sasuke with a strangled noise. "The fuck, Teme! Don't do that shit in front of me. I know you've been living alone for a long time, but _shit_!"

Sasuke closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the shower wall, laughing slightly at the near panicked sound in Naruto's voice. The steam from the water was swirling through the bathroom, making his breath feel slightly labored.

Sasuke heard a small groan and realized it was from his own throat. He opened his eyes just enough to take in the rigid posture of his former teammate, the visual stimulus adding even more tension to his already aching cock.

He wanted more… somehow the cloth alone was not giving him what he needed.

"So who…" Naruto cut himself off, not able to actually ask the question of who Sasuke had finally allowed in his bed. Naruto decided he probably didn't really want to know. The sound of Sasuke's labored breathing was making Naruto start to lose his mind. He was so close. All Naruto would have to do was take two steps and he'd be able to...

_Get out, get out, get out, get out_. The warning chanted in Naruto's brain. He couldn't withstand this. He was going to break any second and… he drew a breath. "You… finish up there. I'm going to go change your sheets."

"Ung, _Naruto_," Sasuke's voice was slightly hoarse. He let the washcloth fall to the floor of the shower with a wet sound, his bare hand continuing to work his erection.

Naruto's head had turned back to look at Sasuke when the man had said his name. Naruto never knew his dick could get instantly hard, but intense straining of his pants assured him that he had somehow managed it. And if he kept watching, he was pretty sure he was going to cum. The sight of Sasuke's hand on his engorged shaft, looking at him with heavy lidded eyes was by far the most erotic thing he had ever seen. And given the number of years that Naruto had spent traveling with Jiraya, that was really saying something.

Naruto stumbled backward, unable to turn his gaze away but knowing he had to stop himself from watching. If Sasuke were sober, none of this would be happening. Naruto quickly made a shadow clone to go and change the sheets while he turned to go to empty the living room of the empty sake bottles that had put Sasuke in this state to begin with.

"Wait…" Sasuke panted. "Stay…"

Naruto could hear the slight slurring of Sasuke's words, another reminder of exactly why he needed to get the fuck out of there.

"_Naruto_…"

There was a pleading tone that he had never even imagined could come out of Sasuke's mouth and it froze Naruto in his tracks. He felt his body turning back to look even though his brain was screaming at him not to. Sasuke was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, head back and fisting his cock. The sight was like a punch in the gut to Naruto. His breath was expelled in a rush and his knees almost buckled under the crushing weight of desire that burned through his system.

Sasuke opened his eyes and his hooded gaze was locked on Naruto's, asking him to do something that Naruto knew he should not do.

He took a single step back into the bathroom, unable to stop himself.

"Sasuke," Naruto knew that his voice sounded almost like a whimper but he couldn't get control of his vocal cords. "You don't want this. You're just…"

Sasuke smirked, slowing the motion of his hand almost to a stop as he lifted his heavy dick up and ran his fingers lightly over the head. "I think it's more than clear that I do want this, Usuratonkachi. Isn't this what you came here to do in the first place?"

Naruto blinked. "What?"

"This is what Tsunade told you to do. That's what Sakura said when she tried it."

Naruto could barely hear the words that Sasuke was saying as he tracked the lazy movements of the pale hand over the angry, red cock. The sly voice in Naruto's head told him that Sasuke was right… this could absolutely be considered doing what Tsunade had said. As long as they didn't actually…

Naruto didn't realize that he had already closed the distance to the edge of the shower stall. Sasuke's hand flashed out and fisted into Naruto's hair, dragging him fully clothed into the hot stream of the shower, while Sasuke's other arm snaked around Naruto's waist, sliding their bodies fully flush.

The blatant aggression and flash of pain at Sasuke's roughness caused Naruto's brain to completely cease functioning. He slid his hands up over Sasuke's shoulders into his hair, crushing their mouths together. Neither of them had any experience kissing, except for their accidental kisses years ago. But they both had plenty of practice in aggression and coordinating their body movements, and it wasn't long before their tongues were thrusting against each other, tracing along the other's teeth, mouths sucking and biting.

Sasuke thrust his hips up against Naruto's, desperate to relieve the almost unbearable pressure that was building between his thighs.

"Sasuke, let me…" Naruto broke from their kiss, ignoring the sound of protest from Sasuke as he slid down the other's naked body and knelt, his face now directly in front of Sasuke's dripping cock.

At that moment, Naruto wanted to simply strip off his clothes and drive into Sasuke more than he had ever wanted anything before in his life. But he knew that he was not here for his own pleasure. Sasuke needed contact, and he needed release. And that was what Naruto would give him. He had read and seen the basic act of oral sex enough times to know that it would bring more pleasure than his hand would.

Ignoring the unpleasant sensation of his sodden clothes restricting his movements, Naruto wrapped his fingers over Sasuke's, enclosing Sasuke's shaft with their combined hands and slowing the frantic motion of the pale hand.

"Shhh…" Naruto said as Sasuke choked out another sound of need. Naruto twisted his hand around the base of Sasuke's cock as he brought his face forward and gently, almost lovingly, nuzzled the erection and drawing in a deep breath, memorizing Sasuke's unique scent, feeling it imprint on his brain in a way that was almost frightening.

"_Ngh_," Sasuke arched his hips forward, pressing his cock forcefully against Naruto's face.

Naruto wanted to unzip his own pants and release his painfully hard erection, but forced himself to only focus on Sasuke.

The shower had already wet their bodies, so Naruto had no problem pulling Sasuke's slickened erection into his mouth.

"Oh, god, _fuck_!" Sasuke groaned.

Naruto shuddered at the sound that was ripped from Sasuke's throat. Knowing that it was him who was driving Sasuke to lose control in a way Naruto had never imagined Sasuke even could.

Sasuke found himself panting and cursing at the unfamiliar sensation of someone else touching his shaft… and the knowledge that it was Naruto kneeling between his legs doing this to him. His earlier self-ministrations paled in comparison to what he was feeling now. He vaguely understood now what everyone was always talking about when they went on and on about getting a blow job, but any ability to think further was stripped away as Naruto started to suck.

Naruto drew on everything he'd ever read or been told as Jiraya's disciple. If he was going to do this, he would do it with all possible skill. Uzumaki Naruto never did things halfway. He worked the base of Sasuke's erection with his hand while he used his tongue to trace along the underside of the ridge of the head. The sharp hiss of breath from Sasuke when Naruto dipped his tongue into the slit at the tip made Naruto chuckle. The vibrations of the sound traveled up Sasuke's cock, making him thrust more forcefully into Naruto's mouth.

Naruto's hands quickly gripped Sasuke's hips as he tried to slow their motion, forcing his throat to relax and thanking his voracious eating habits for having dulled his gag reflex from years of downing ramen as fast as humanly possible.

Sasuke's whole body was shaking, pale hands now splayed out against the tile wall as though to keep himself from sliding down.

Remembering one of the things he had read that always seemed to be rather unbelievable as a pleasure source, Naruto removed one of his hands from Sasuke's hips. Sasuke's legs were helpfully braced wide, allowing Naruto to first take Sasuke's balls and roll them slightly before taking two of his fingers and sliding them further back, massaging first the sensitive area between his balls and his ass. He thought about continuing further back, but Sasuke's hands had shifted again, nearly pulling out Naruto's hair in their sudden vice grip.

"_Aghn_, Naruto!" and Sasuke was cumming, leg's braced wide and head thrown back, his whole body arched in pleasure. Naruto choked slightly at the unexpected rush of Sasuke's seed into his throat, but he kept sucking and swallowing until the last tremor was finished. Sasuke's knees gave way and he slid to the floor of the shower, looking dazed..

Naruto looked down at where Sasuke lay panting, black eyes glazed with satiated lust. Naruto's hand shook, and it took every ounce of willpower that Naruto had to simply turn off the water and throw Sasuke a towel. And step back.

Sasuke lazily arched a brow at him. "You're still hard."

Of course Sasuke would notice. "Yeah. And you're still drunk. I haven't slept in three days. I'm going home to shower and sleep."

"You could do both of those things here."

Naruto wondered if Sasuke really had no idea of how much effort it was taking Naruto to hold himself back right now. His whole body was literally shaking with repressed need. "No. I really couldn't."

With that, Naruto turned, still dripping wet, and headed back to his apartment. He dispelled his clone and was glad to know that at least Sasuke would have clean sheets. There was no way he could go back there to finish cleaning up.

-xXx-

**to be continued… **

note: since there is some confusion on this, Naruto can smell sex (= scent of arousal and cum in the room) but he isn't like Kiba where he can identify an certain individual's scent. Like... normal people can smell sex but not know which two people were fucking. He just is more sensitive to the scent.


	7. Chapter 7 - Sober

**Summary:** The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

**Warning:** Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) masturbation, frotting, 17+

-xXx-

Naruto stood in the freezing shower and tried to shut his brain off. He supposed he should consider himself lucky that he never caught colds, given that he had walked home soaking wet in the cool air and now was taking a cold shower on top of it. Unconsciously he flexed the fingers of his right hand, feeling them go slightly numb. Probably with cold.

The cold wasn't helping. Nothing was helping.

He couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened in Sasuke's shower. It wasn't like he'd never fantasized about someone before. Being the proofreader - and sometimes even ghostwriter - for Ero Senin's porn gave him ample knowledge of almost every sex act imaginable. Jiraya hadn't been a Sanin for nothing. Naruto knew just what to do with tongue and teeth and lips and hips to give proper appreciation to most parts of a human body. Just because he'd never actually _done_ any of it in reality didn't mean he wasn't well-versed in the theory. So of course he had fantasized about things, occasionally. He was a teenage boy.

A few times, he had thought of Sakura. But somehow those imaginings always ended abruptly with images of her punching him in the head and screeching at him, destroying any sort of sexual arousal about the whole scenario.

But it was so different with Sasuke. Instead of just imagining it, Naruto now actually had some real life visuals to replay in his mind. And holy shit, he couldn't seem to turn them off. He felt like every synapse in his brain had been reprogrammed to just store images of Sasuke naked in the shower. The way the water had clung to his skin. The way his lips had parted slightly as he panted. The way his eyes had looked both dangerous and aroused at the same time.

Naruto felt his cock strain further at just the thought and cursed.

Hell, even the thought of Sasuke possibly taking a swing at him while Naruto pressed him up against the shower wall made Naruto's cock leak. Naruto thumped his forehead against the shower tiles and groaned. His body was shivering from the cold, but his hard-on showing no signs of dissipating.

Giving up on getting rid of his erection by freezing it, he turned the shower temperature back up and grabbed the soap. He braced his legs slightly further apart and leaned back against the tiles as his hand closed over his erection. He realized he was standing in roughly the same position Sasuke had been. As though their positions were now reversed. And that though triggered a mental image of Sasuke kneeling on his shower floor with his lips around Naruto's cock, which sent Naruto into an instant climax.

_"Fffuuuuccckkk_!" Naruto gasped.

Now he had a new mental image that was seared into his brain. He had solved one problem, but had definitely created another. And the worst of it was that when Sasuke sobered up, he might not even remember that anything had happened at all. Or he might remember it, and be pissed as hell that Naruto had not just left when he found Sasuke drunk and naked in his bed. And honestly, Naruto couldn't blame him. He had never felt so angry at himself. But goddammit! He had tried. But he was only human, and he just… Sasuke was so...

Naruto sighed in frustration.

He was so tired and overwhelmed at the moment he was not able to even begin to sort out what he was going to do the next time he saw Sasuke - assuming the man didn't simply chidori him for taking advantage of him while he was drunk. Naruto toweled himself off roughly and pulled on a pair of orange boxers, then crossed to his bed and flopped down on it, dragging the sheet over his body but too tired to go find the blanket that he must have kicked on the floor at some point.

He was asleep within seconds

-xXx-

Sasuke had lay in the shower after Naruto had left simply letting his body ride the slowing ebbing wave of his climax high. He couldn't remember a time when he had felt this satisfied or relaxed. His mind was still hazed with pleasure and he saw no reason to cut it short by moving or thinking.

Even the drugs hadn't made him feel this good.

When he finally started to shiver from cold, he stood and grabbed a towel. He rubbed it through his hair first, then wiped the water from his arms and chest. He sucked a breath in through his teeth as he ran the soft towel over his groin which was still sensitized from Naruto's ministrations. The sensation brought back vivid memories of exactly what had just transpired in his shower.

The force of his orgasm had taken him by surprise... the extreme pleasure something he had never experienced before. Just the memory of Naruto's mouth and hands on him made his blood heat again and his groin stirred slightly. He wanted it to happen again. It was the first thing he could honestly say he wanted since the ending of the war. Since probably much longer than that. He hadn't let himself want anything pleasurable since he had stood there, shaking and crying while his brother forced the memories into his mind about his clan's death. At that moment, Sasuke had felt that everything except vengeance inside of him had died.

When Naruto had walked into Sasuke's bedroom and the clear blue eyes had darkened with anger and lust, Sasuke had wanted something to happen. All residual thoughts of Itachi, the council, his clan, everything had been pushed aside in that single moment. Sasuke had simply wanted Naruto to keep watching him. The focus he had always found soothing as a child had grown somehow darker, more potent… stronger.

And when Naruto had finally crossed the small bathroom to be within his reach, Sasuke had not hesitated. His body had known what it wanted, and his mind had been compliant, watching almost passively as he had grabbed Naruto and dragged his body against his own under the stream of the shower and kissed him.

Sasuke rubbed his thumb harshly across his lips as his mind recreated that first moment of contact. He had had no idea that the experience would have been so intense, but now that he did…

He was not going to back away from it. Not from the first thing that had made him actually _feel _something other than hatred or the adrenaline rush of battle. He hadn't really thought there was any other emotion left inside him. He still wasn't sure that there was enough left to mean anything. But this was a start. It was something.

Sasuke hung his towel on the hook in his bathroom and walked naked to his bedroom. He pulled on a pair of soft, cotton pants then lay down on the fresh sheets that he assumed one of Naruto's clones had thoughtfully changed for him. _Or not so thoughtfully,_ Sasuke thought with some amusement, recalling the jealous anger Naruto had expressed at finding Sasuke in cum-soaked sheets in his bedroom.

He remembered his own reaction to that anger. It had made Sasuke feel… powerful. Aggressive. He had _wanted_ Naruto to want him in that moment. And to his surprise, Naruto had. He wondered if it really should have been that much of a surprise, but that would be a thought to pursue later, when his mind was clear from drink and sex.

Even without the sharingan, Sasuke possessed a nearly photographic memory. He assumed it was due to the increased genetic link between the eyes and the brain of most Uchihas. It served at times as both a blessing and a curse. It was easy to relay your actions and their consequences over and over in your mind with perfect clarity when your brain automatically recorded every detail.

Sasuke could remember the way Naruto's pupils had dilated when he had watched him masturbate in the shower, just as they had when they had been locked together on the battlefield. Sasuke recognized that look now. It was one he had seen on countless others, but never on Naruto. It was lust.

Naruto's nostrils had flared just slightly as though he had been trying to draw in more of Sasuke's scent.

And he had felt the shudders in Naruto's body as they had kissed in his shower. The tremors that had wracked Naruto's body when he had knelt between Sasuke's thighs and sucked his dick.

Sasuke shifted on the bed, his fingers fisting into the sheets. The exchange in the shower had been a bit one-sided. Sasuke definitely wanted to even the score.

The dark look Naruto had sent him when he had said he had to leave… was more than friendship.

In at least that moment, Naruto had wanted him. And potentially had wanted him when they had sparred earlier, though Sasuke could not be sure. The lust for battle and the lust for sex were similar, at least to Sasuke. And in their case, perhaps combined. The thought of what that could translate to had Sasuke's hips flexing slightly. He slid his hand down to the edge of his pants, but not inside.

He'd experimented fully with masturbation. He knew now it was a pale comparison to what could be. And he had never been willing to settle for second best in anything.

Sasuke felt a flash of annoyance that Naruto had gone home. He knew that the blond shinobi had been tired. The lines of fatigue had been etched on his face. But he also knew that tiredness had not been the reason Naruto had all but run from Sasuke's home.

Sasuke smiled cynically. Naruto had left because he was still trying to be a 'good friend'. He assumed that just because Sasuke had been drinking he didn't know what he wanted. Which was bullshit. Sasuke knew exactly what he wanted now.

And he also knew that Naruto wanted it, too. Or at least had wanted it this morning. But in order for that to happen, he needed to break Naruto from his mantra of 'just friends'. It had never really rung true, anyway. Sasuke had always been dissatisfied with Naruto's weak explanations for his fixation on Sasuke. He had seen Naruto's other friendships, and they didn't go as far or as deep. Naruto had been willing to go against all his friends to come after Sasuke again and again, even fight them if it meant preventing them from trying to kill Sasuke.

But Naruto had never really been able to explain why he wouldn't give up on Sasuke. Everyone else had given up on him. Everyone.

Even himself.

It had bothered Sasuke that he never could find a believable reason for Naruto to pursue him so relentlessly. Friendship? No. Friendship was not enough. But what had just happened was clearly more than friendship. Sasuke had seen the stark lust and worship in Naruto's eyes as he had watched Sasuke in the shower, and had felt the possessiveness in the blond's gaze. Seen a glimpse of a darker side to Naruto's obsession for him that he had not seen or at least not recognized before.

Sasuke shifted his legs slightly wider apart at the thought, feeling a smug sense of power at knowing that the man who would be Hokage, the man people now spoke of as this pure sort of savior to the village, wanted _him_. Had dropped to his knees and sucked Sasuke's cock like it was the only source of water and he was dying of thirst.

And that alone was revenge against the village of a sort. They had all tried to turn Naruto against him. Sasuke laughed darkly. But they had no idea of what the bond really was between the two boys. But Sasuke finally did. He finally understood.

He was not unfamiliar with people wanting to possess him sexually. He had been the object of obsessive desires from both men and women since he could remember. But it had never been reciprocated. Never triggered and equal sense of possessiveness in return.

Sasuke had no trouble acknowledging that what he felt was definitely possessiveness towards Naruto. The idea of Naruto with anyone else in that way made Sasuke's sharingan activate. He had no idea if Naruto were sexually experienced. Or potentially even in some sort of relationship, though he guessed Sakura would have told him if he were.

But from what Sasuke knew of Naruto, he doubted that Naruto had ever had a serious relationship. Sasuke drew a slow breath. Naruto was too damaged. Like him. Neither one was really able to let someone else in. Not that close. Naruto had lived years of growing up knowing his body was the only barrier between the village and a demon that had wanted to destroy it.

He was used to being hated for what was inside him, and had grown up not knowing the reason for the hatred, having every effort at reaching out to people be rebuffed harshly with scorn and derision. It would be hard for Naruto to make any sort of move to try to have a relationship outside of the normal teammate interactions.

Sasuke felt the old anger surge back up as he thought of what the village that Naruto always fought so hard to protect had done to their 'hero' as a child. How quickly they had all been willing to pretend like it had never happened and just move on, allowing Naruto to put himself at risk for their safety again and again. And Naruto always did so without hesitation. Never called them to account for what they had done.

Sasuke wasn't sure he could ever be that forgiving. Or, to be perfectly accurate, he was completely sure that he could never be that forgiving. Many of the village hated him for what he had done. And hated his brother and their whole clan because of the lies that they had been fed. Sasuke viewed the villagers with complete contempt for their seemingly endless ability to hate without reasoning, and never face the consequences. Mindless sheep.

He wasn't here for them. They didn't matter.

He had come back to Konoha because Naruto had made him. And he had stayed because he hadn't found anything to make the effort of leaving worth it. He was an infamous S-ranked criminal. His looks were easily recognizable, making living in another village no better than the one that he currently resided in. And this village had the one person that Sasuke found any value in.

The one person who had ever understood him, even slightly. More perhaps than even Itachi had been able to, in the end.

Naruto had said he had left because Sasuke was drunk. That was easily fixable. Sasuke knew that Naruto had not been kidding when he had said he was going to go and sleep. There was no sense in rushing things. Sasuke would sleep it off. Then go find Naruto.

There were things he needed to discuss with his 'best friend'.

**-xXx-**

Naruto lay in his bed. He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, but something had woken him up. His right arm now felt completely numb. He must have slept on it funny.

He opened his eyes to see Sasuke leaning against the wall watching him, face unreadable. Naruto searched to find any sign of anger. Clearly the fact that Sasuke was in his apartment again meant that Sasuke remembered at least part of what had happened. Naruto wasn't sure if that would end up being a good thing or a bad thing. But Sasuke's face already looked less drawn… his eyes less dead than what Naruto had seen in years. Maybe there was something to what Tsunade had said after all. Not able to bear the silence anymore, Naruto broke it.

"This is becoming a habit. You showing up in my bedroom and being creepy while I sleep," Naruto said, trying to make a joke. He was not awake enough to handle this confrontation. If it was going to be a confrontation. He still couldn't tell.

Sasuke stood there looking like it was the most natural place for him to be, standing fully clothed in Naruto's bedroom while Naruto was once again in just his boxers.

"You came to my bed, so I figured it was fine if I came to yours."

Naruto couldn't help the heat he felt flame up along his neck and cheekbones at Sasuke's words. He couldn't have meant it the way it sounded but Naruto couldn't help the choking cough that emerged from his throat.

He caught a slight gleam of amusement in the black gaze, which was disconcertingly awake and alert, unlike what Naruto felt like. Clearly, Sasuke had sobered up. And wanted to talk.

Naruto flexed his fingers on his right hand again as he sat up, annoyed that it was still stinging numbly.

"Did you injure your hand?" Sasuke asked, as always able to read even a subtle show of weakness in a potential opponent.

Naruto scrubbed his fingers through his hair. "Just slept funny."

Sasuke blew out a derisive breath.

"What, like you are such a perfect fucking ninja you never sleep funny?" Naruto asked feeling slightly annoyed. Sasuke was always able to get him feeling like they were competing. Evidently even with sleep positions.

Sasuke just arched a brow, then levered himself away from the wall and walked into the small kitchen area. Naruto stared blankly after him, hearing water running. Was Sasuke… staying for… Naruto glanced at the clock in his room and saw it was around midnight. … dinner? Naruto had slept for twelve hours. Now his sleep schedule would be all fucked up because Sasuke had woken him up rather than letting him sleep until dawn as Naruto had planned. Which begged the question of why Sasuke was here, casually doing something in Naruto's kitchen in the middle of the night.

The sound of the water running made Naruto realize that he had matters of a personal nature to attend to. He walked to the bathroom, grabbing a T-shirt and sweatpants as he went. Had Sasuke given him privacy because he knew Naruto needed to…

No. He wasn't going to sit around wondering if Sasuke could tell when he needed to take a piss. Fuck, he wasn't even really awake yet. He relieved himself then washed his hands, splashing some cold water on his face and hoping his brain would wake up.

Sasuke was in his apartment and Naruto had no idea why or what to expect. But he figured clothing was always a good thing, so he pulled on his shirt and pants and padded barefoot out to the kitchen to find Sasuke cooking some rice on the single burner stove.

"So after your old place got leveled by Pein, you didn't want to upgrade?" Sasuke asked casually as he put the lid on the only pot Naruto owned.

Naruto shrugged. "It's not like I do a lot of entertaining. I'm hardly home anyway, and when I am it's just me. All I do here is sleep. It seemed a waste to get a bigger place."

Sasuke nodded as he rummaged through the cupboards.

"Um… are you cooking me dinner?"

Sasuke shot him a hard look. "You cleaned up my place twice. I figured I can make you a meal when I know you didn't eat all day."

Naruto's mind raced. Should he bring up what had happened in Sasuke's shower that morning? What did Sasuke even remember? He didn't seem angry. He didn't seem… Naruto fought the urge to smash his head into the table. He had no idea what he was supposed to say right now.

He looked up to see Sasuke observing him with some amusement. Naruto's eyes immediately narrowed as all nervousness fled. _Fucking Uchiha._

"Was it because of what Tsunade told you to do?" Sasuke asked abruptly, his voice definitely less casual than when he had asked about Naruto's apartment.

Naruto froze. He knew that he needed to answer this question carefully. Sasuke's expression gave nothing away about what he thought about the situation. Was he angry? Disgusted? Curious?

Naruto took a slow breath, pouring himself a glass of water to give himself something to do. "You mean… this morning when…"

"When you gave me head in my shower. Yes."

Naruto managed to not drop the glass. Just barely. "I…" Naruto looked at Sasuke's face, frantically searching for what he should say that would not end in Sasuke activating the sharingan or trying to behead him. "Sasuke, I just… you looked… and I…"

"Did you do it because Tsunade told you to," Sasuke repeated, taking a step closer, his voice hardening.

Naruto felt pinned by the intensity in Sasuke's eyes. He gave the only answer he could. "No."

Sasuke slowly closed the distance, not breaking eye contact. He reached out, brushing his fingers against Naruto's as he took the glass from the nerveless tan fingers and set it on the kitchen table. "Good," Sasuke said, his voice low as he slid a hand around the back of Naruto's neck and slowly drawing him forward until their lips brushed against each other.

Naruto could smell the mint of Sasuke's breath, and no trace of alcohol. He briefly wondered if he were still asleep or had somehow managed to trap himself in a genjustu because he was pretty sure that this was not possible. But Sasuke's lips came down with more force, and Naruto found himself pulling Sasuke closer and deepening the kiss.

"Sasuke…" Naruto breathed out, something between a question and a prayer.

Sasuke simply pulled Naruto's mouth back against his, opening their mouths even wider. He didn't want to talk about what was happening. He wanted the escalation that had happened before that had wiped his mind clean. He had woken up alone in his bed, hung over again. But unlike every other morning since he had arrived back in Konoha, he had something he wanted to accomplish when he woke up. He wanted to find Naruto, and see how much of what he had felt had been amplified by the alcohol and how much was real. And he had wanted to know if Naruto had done it because he had to, or because he wanted to.

When he felt Naruto's hands dig into his hips, felt the heat that flooded through his blood, his growing erection pressing against an answering hardness in Naruto, he knew the answer to both questions.

His mind went blissfully blank except for the feel of the burning points of contact between his body and Naruto's. It was better than alcohol or the opium when he was with Naruto like this. He breathed out a shaky breath as Naruto's hands slid up over his back, fisting into his shirt and tugging it slightly before stopping. He could feel a tremor run through Naruto's arms, and realized that the blond was trying to hold himself back.

Sasuke lifted his mouth from Naruto's breaking their kiss, and looked down into blue eyes that looked back at him almost desperate with desire.

"You said you stopped last time because I was drunk," Sasuke said, running his thumb down the front of Naruto's T-shirt until it reached the hem. He slid his fingers under the edge, letting the tips of his fingers brush against the flat, taut stomach beneath it. He felt the muscles clench beneath his touch.

"I'm clearly sober. So why are you holding back now?" Sasuke persisted, slowly sliding one hand up over Naruto's chest, wondering why it felt so good to touch another person in this way. It was just skin and bone and muscle, but…

Naruto sucked in a sharp breath as Sasuke's fingertips happened to brush across his nipple. Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the sound, and he repeated the motion with more force.

"Fuck, Sasuke," Naruto said, banging his head back against the wall as he tried to get his brain to engage.

Sasuke smirked, this time using his calloused thumb to rub against the nub, then rolled it between his fingers. A male nipple was not something he had ever considered as an object of interest in the past. It served no purpose in terms of a reproductive function. But watching Naruto bite his lip and choke back a groan at his touch made him suddenly very interested in what other touches to that part of Naruto's body would do.

He roughly grabbed the bottom of Naruto's shirt and yanked it off him. Naruto stood there for a moment, letting Sasuke look at him. Naruto wanted to remove Sasuke's clothing as well, but he wasn't really sure what Sasuke wanted or how far he wanted things to go. And he knew without a doubt that if Sasuke started taking his clothing off, there was no way in hell Naruto would be able to stop.

"Sasuke…" Naruto began again, wanting to find some way of asking what Sasuke really wanted with all this. He remembered Tsunade's words to let Sasuke set the pace, and determine what he was comfortable with. Naruto was pretty sure this wasn't what she'd had in mind, but he thought the advice was good nonetheless. He didn't know what Sasuke needed. But he knew that he would be whatever it was. Whatever Sasuke needed.

"No talking," Sasuke said, moving closer again, rubbing his thumbs of both of Naruto's nipples simultaneously, watching them harden and redden with the abrasion. "Sensitive," he murmured, almost as though noting it to himself.

"No shit," Naruto gritted out, letting his head fall back slightly as Sasuke bent down and experimentally swirled his tongue over one of the reddened nubs.

"Fuck!" Naruto said, his back arching somewhat.

Sasuke snickered. "_Very_ sensitive. Just like a girl."

Naruto glared, already feeling the competitive streak that Sasuke always brought out in him rearing up. He grabbed Sasuke by his shirt, jerking the already gaping garment the rest of the way open and peeling it down off his shoulders before shoving Sasuke back into the small bedroom.

"What would know about girls' nipples anyway?" Naruto growled.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but allowed Naruto to push him down on the bed. "Probably about as much as you," Sasuke retorted.

Naruto paused in the act of pulling Sasuke's shirt out of his purple obi to look at him, amusement and challenge lighting his eyes. "Oh, really?"

Naruto bent his head down to where Sasuke's nipple had been bared, throwing the shirt off to the side. He gave a slow lick with the flat of his tongue, then swirled around it with the tip before grazing his teeth along the sensitized flesh.

Sasuke's dark eyes were fixed on the motion of Naruto's tongue over his flesh, and he remembered earlier that morning that Naruto seemed to know some very specific things to do with his tongue and teeth that felt amazingly good. He narrowed his eyes. The actions of Naruto's tongue spoke of practice.

Sasuke's hand reached out and fisted into Naruto's hair, jerking him back from what he had been doing despite the pleasure it had been bringing him.

"The fuck?" Naruto asked, looking at Sasuke warily. Had Sasuke decided he didn't want this after all? Naruto didn't think there was enough cold water in all of Konoha to kill his erection at this point.

"Who?" Sasuke bit out.

"What?" Naruto asked, struggling to get his brain to try to figure out what Sasuke was asking.

"You said you knew more."

Naruto knew he shouldn't feel as much pleasure as he did at the look of possessiveness that flashed in Sasuke's eyes. He grinned, and he thought he briefly saw a flash of red in Sasuke's dark eyes. "Do you have any idea how much porn I read under Ero Senin?"

Sasuke took in the full implication of what Naruto was saying. "So, you've never…" Sasuke let the question trail off.

"No," Naruto said, blushing a bit but trying not to be embarrassed.

Sasuke's smirk reemerged briefly as he released his death grip on Naruto's hair, but kept his hand behind Naruto's head and slowly pulled him down into a kiss.

"Neither have I."

Naruto's head jerked back as looked at Sasuke. "But… last night… I saw your bed."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but a slight blush dusted his cheeks. "I thought you said you'd traveled with Jiraya. Surely you can figure it out, Dobe."

Naruto thought about what he had seen, and his eyes widened before he burst out laughing. "Holy shit, Sasuke. I've definitely jacked off in my time but… damn, that's hard core."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes again, his fingers tightening back in Naruto's hair as he dragged the blond in for another kiss, this one much less gentle. Naruto didn't even bother to resist. Instead, he focused on trying to remember everything Jiraya had ever written about what felt good, and how to make your partner scream with pleasure. He pressed his thumbs into the dips just above Sasuke's hip bones as he slowly rocked their hips together.

Both boys gasped at the sensation. Sasuke was nothing if not a fast learner, and he picked up the pace and force rapidly until they were both almost ready to cum. Naruto gasped, not wanting it to end so quickly, and gripped Sasuke's hips harshly to stop the motion.

Sasuke made a frustrated sound, but stopped as soon as he felt Naruto's hands fumbling with the knot on his obi. Definitely in agreement that less clothing would be a good idea that this point, he rapidly undid the drawstring of Naruto's sweat pants.

"Fuck," Naruto cursed has he continued to struggle with the knot at Sasuke's waist.

At first Sasuke assumed it was just nerves that was making Naruto slightly uncoordinated, but as he looked down to where Naruto's hands were fumbling with his belt, he realized that something was not right.

Without thinking, he activated his sharingan to observe Naruto's hand. "Naruto… what the fuck did you do to your hand?"

For the first time, Naruto looked at the hand that had been bothering him since he came back from his mission. He could see the faint discoloration of the flesh there. And he remembered the seal that Danzo had left that he had thought he had successfully disarmed.

Naruto tried to focus chakra into his hand, and hissed at the pain doing so caused. Sasuke had not released his sharingan. "You need to go to the hospital."

Naruto knew that he couldn't let word of the specific nature of his injury get out. Danzo was known for his unique seals. People might find out what he was working on. "No. I need to go to Tsunade."

Sasuke was already pulling his shirt on, his face tense. "Then let's go."

-xXx-

_to be continued…_


	8. Chapter 8 - Missions

**Healing the Broken - Chapter 8**

**Summary: **The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

**Warning: Yaoi (Boy x Boy),** drug abuse, mental illness

**Author's note:** Thank you to CapturedByNoodles and WordWriter for their advice and encouragement on this chapter. Love you ladies!

-xXx-

_Naruto tried to focus chakra into his hand, and hissed at the pain doing so caused. Sasuke had not released his sharingan. "You need to go to the hospital."_

_Naruto knew that he couldn't let word of the specific nature of his injury get out. Danzo was known for his unique seals. People might find out what he was working on. "No. I need to go to Tsunade."_

_Sasuke was already pulling his shirt on, his face tense. "Then let's go."_

Naruto hesitated. There would be no way to conceal what the nature of his injury was if Sasuke came with him. And Sasuke was smart enough that he would be able to quickly connect the dots and know what Naruto was up to.

Naruto walked to the kitchen and picked up his shirt, slowly pulling it on. He could feel Sasuke's gaze on his back the entire time, and knew that his hesitation and silence had been duly noted.

"Ok. Let's go then," Naruto said, turning to look directly at Sasuke.

Naruto saw some of the tension leave Sasuke's shoulders at his words. He had clearly been braced for rejection and dismissal. Naruto gave him a lopsided smile. He had always put his faith in Sasuke. He was too old to change that now. Though he wasn't looking forward to Tsunade's reaction when he showed up with Sasuke.

But he was rewarded by the smallest twitch of Sasuke's lips in return before he turned and pulled the rice from the stove before it burned. They made their way silently through the dark streets of Konoha to the Hokage's Tower.

-xXx-

Naruto signaled to the Anbu guards at the entrance as they approached. "We're here to see Baa-chan," he said flatly. The men were used to Naruto having basically free access to the Tower given Tsunade had been apprenticing him for taking over the Hokage duties, but they tensed as they saw who was accompanying him.

"We received no permission from Tsunade-sama that she would be receiving visitors tonight," the man said, his gaze fixed coldly on Sasuke.

Naruto felt himself bristling at the hostile looks both Anbu were giving his friend. He understood their reasons. But he didn't like it. It reminded him so much of the same hostile, dead way that people used to look at him as a child. The fear of something dangerous twisted into hatred by lack of understanding.

Sasuke simply ignored it, staring straight ahead. Clearly, this was not surprising or new to him. Naruto took a breath, and pasted on a smile that probably only Sasuke was able to recognize as fake. "Well, if _you_ want to go wake Baa-chan up and ask her, then we can just wait here until you get back. But we have critical information that she needs to know, and I'm not going to have my ass handed to me for waiting until morning to tell her. So it's your choice. Either you wake her up, or we will."

Despite being Anbu, the two men flinched slightly. No one in their right mind woke the Godaime Hokage up after she'd gone to sleep unless the village was literally under attack. The guards glanced at each other, then stepped back to allow Naruto and Sasuke to pass.

Naruto smirked. "That's what I thought."

Between the Fifth Hokage and the man who would be the Sixth, the guards figured the Uchiha traitor would be contained even if he tried something. But one of the guards still escorted the pair until they reached her chambers.

-xXx-

Naruto and Sasuke paused outside the elaborately paneled wooden doors. It was one of the few buildings in Konoha that had been built to look exactly the same as the original had before Nagato had destroyed the village. Naruto looked back at Sasuke. "Ah.. you might want to stand back a bit. Let me be the one she sees when she first opens the door."

Sasuke hesitated, then stepped back. Naruto blew out a breath and banged on the door with full force. "Oi! Baa-chan!"

The Anbu guard vanished in a puff of smoke, not wanting to be in line of fire when she came to the door. Ideally he didn't want to even be in the building.

Naruto continued to bang for almost a minute before the door was flung open, and a slightly disheveled Tsunade stood there, glaring at him. She wore a thin nightgown and robe that probably would have sent Jiraya into a fatal nosebleed if he had been around to see it. The fleeting thought sent a pang of sadness through Naruto at the same time it brought a slight smile to his lips.

"Unless you tell me that Pein has been resurrected and is about to flatten the village again, you'd better start running, brat."

"Baa-chan," Naruto said, raising his hands in supplication as she raised her finger threateningly. "I think I might not have disarmed one of the seals as well as I thought."

Sasuke's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed at this, at the same time Tsunade's hand froze and a look of concern crossed her face.

"Come in. The guards are not able to monitor conversation there." She turned to head back into her room and caught sight of Sasuke. "Naruto…" she said warningly.

"He was the one who noticed the problem with my hand," Naruto said, mentally digging his heels in if Tsunade were going to ask Sasuke to leave.

"Is that why he activated his sharingan?"

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a glance at the news that she had been informed about that. Hopefully, whichever Anbu had been following Sasuke had simply noticed the chakra activation, and weren't close enough to know what else had been going on in Naruto's apartment.

"Yes," Naruto said. "Are we going to discuss this in the hallway?"

Tsunade sighed, turning and walking into her room, allowing Naruto and Sasuke to follow. Sasuke carefully closed the doors behind them. "Brat, you always make things more complicated. But fine. Did you tell him how you got the injury?"

"No," Naruto said, his voice expressionless. "You ordered me not to." He felt Sasuke's intense gaze on him as he stood facing Tsunade.

She snorted. "So instead of telling him, you just brought him along so he can figure it out himself. At some point we need to have a discussion about following the spirit of the order, not just the letter." Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but Tsunade stopped him. "I let him in, didn't I? Give me your hand, then, brat. Let me see what's happening."

Tsunade ran her hands over Naruto's arm, allowing her chakra to penetrate his flesh as she explored the nature of his wound. She gasped and drew her hands back, her eyes widening.

"It's… it's some sort curse seal. It is similar in a way to the reaper seal that the Third used on Orochimaru, but somehow this was embedded in the scroll instead of used by an actual person." She brought her hands back with more caution this time, probing again.

Naruto glanced at Sasuke and could see the gears turning in his friend's head. There were not many shinobi who could use a seal like that. Fewer still who would leave it as a trap in a scroll. Sasuke's face went blank as he began to realize what might have happened.

"Yeah, but… you can you fix it, right?" Naruto asked, trying to sound confident.

"I… am not sure," Tsunade said, still frowning in concentration as she continued to probe the affected area with her chakra. "I'm doing what I can to repair the damage, but I don't know how to stop it entirely. I've never seen anything like this. Kurama's chakra is interfering with the sealing effect… if it weren't, you would have lost the use of your entire arm by now. It looks like it was designed to spread, eventually killing its victim, but luckily it wasn't designed for Jinchuurikis. It wasn't able to progress beyond your hand."

"But… Kurama's chakra will keep that from happening, right?" Naruto said slightly nervously. "I'm not going to lose the use of my hand?"

Tsunade bit her lip, then pulled her hands back. "I need to go and do some research. Damn, Danzo," she cursed under her breath, but not so quietly that the two shinobi in the room did not hear. Naruto looked at Tsunade, realizing the slip was intentional. She wasn't exactly rescinding her order to Naruto not to disclose the mission to Sasuke, but she had effectively just done so herself.

"What can I do?" Naruto asked.

"No missions until this is resolved," Tsunade said firmly. "I'll summon Sai back, but it will take him two days to get back. He knows more about fuijutsu than almost anyone else, and he studied under Danzo. Though..." Tsunade looked balefully at Naruto's arm. "... Danzo always kept his most powerful secrets close to his chest. He was too afraid that he would be betrayed by them in the end. Sai may or may not know anything about this." Tsunade slanted a glance at Sasuke. "You apprenticed under Orochimaru. And you fought and defeated Danzo."

It was said with a mix of respect and condemnation. Sasuke acknowledged both. "I know where most of Orochimaru's research on seals is. It's less than a day's journey from the village. I might be able to find something." The irony of the situation wasn't lost on him. Once again, he was leaving the village and seeking out Orochimaru's knowledge because of something Danzo had set in motion. The only difference was that this time, it was with the Hokage's blessing.

"I'm going with you," Naruto said flatly.

Evidently Sasuke wasn't the only one recalling the last time this had happened.

"You're useless if you can't use your hand to make seals," Sasuke said. They had no idea of the rate of acceleration of the cursed seal. Sasuke would prefer that Naruto stay back with Tsunade where she could monitor him. Looking at the blond ninja, though, Sasuke realized that it would be fruitless to argue the point.

Naruto's eyes narrowed and hardened. "I'm still more useful than a nin who just sat around drinking his ass off for three months without training."

Despite the situation, Sasuke felt his lips almost twitch into a smile. Some things never changed. Sasuke implying that he was a better ninja than Naruto in any circumstance would always provoke a reaction. Even with the Hokage's hat all but resting on Naruto's head.

"Tch. Fine. Just don't get in the way," Sasuke said. He glanced over at Tsunade to see her looking at them in amusement.

Her amusement faded, however when she began to speak. "Sasuke. I'm sure you've realized the… delicacy of this situation. There are many people who would not be pleased to learn that Danzo's personal information was being vetted. This is an Anbu mission. There can be no breach of secrecy as to the nature of Naruto's injury or what you are researching. No one can be allowed to find out what about any aspect of this."

Sasuke stood absolutely still, but the air in the Hokage's private chamber crackled with dark anger. Finally, he spoke. "No one knows better than I do the nature of Danzo's dealings, and the danger of revealing them."

Tsunade said nothing, but her eyes softened a bit. It was true. No one in the village had lost more than the boy standing before her to Danzo's agendas and hidden machinations. Whatever else she could say about Sasuke or Itachi, Danzo had been the one to set it all in motion. In the end, the blame lay at the dead man's feet.

She watched the two childhood friends walk out of her office, noting the slightly protective stance Sasuke took behind Naruto when they headed out. She smiled slightly. As bad as the situation was, there appeared to be at least some good that was coming out of it. The rogue nin who had at one point vowed to destroy the village now appeared to be trying to protect the future Hokage.

-xXx-

Naruto and Sasuke walked through the village. They both needed to pack and prepare for the journey to the hideout Sasuke had indicated was the most likely place to find any information on the seal. Tsunade had summoned Shizune, and would be conducting her own search in the Hokage library, though much had been lost in the destruction by Pein.

It was approaching dawn, and some of the shopkeepers were making their way through the streets to get ready for the day. Naruto saw the fearful and sometimes scornful looks that they gave Sasuke. It made him angry, though Sasuke didn't even appear to notice.

They had no idea what Sasuke had been put through 'for the sake of the village'. They had no right to judge him. Naruto felt his fists clench, knowing that there was nothing he could do at the moment, other than what he was already doing. He would make the village understand what had been done to Sasuke. And Itachi. He didn't agree with some of the choices they had made, but when they had been manipulated so ruthlessly since childhood, had they ever really had a chance?

Whatever Naruto would do as Hokage, whatever mistakes he knew he would at times make, he would never hide from things the way the Third had. If a hard decision had to be made, he would make it and accept the consequences directly. Not leave them on the shoulders of orphans to be dealt with later. Looking at the rigid shoulders of his friend, Naruto vowed that with the same fervor he had long ago when he had driven a knife through his hand and promised not to run away from a battle again. They were two vows he would keep even in death.

They parted ways, Sasuke heading off his house on the outskirts of town. Naruto watched his friend go, noting the rigid body posture. He could feel the waves of suppressed anger pumping off his friend, and was surprised that the windows didn't crack as they walked past. Naruto worried about the stony look on Sasuke's face, and was surprised that he had not asked Naruto for more information about the nature of what he had found already on Danzo. Though, Naruto supposed as he watched Sasuke disappear around a corner, the nin had probably already figured most of it out. Naruto turned and headed to his own apartment. He didn't know how Sasuke would react to the information he had found in Danzo's lair. The details of exactly what had been done were even worse than Naruto had imagined before.

He didn't know if the knowledge would bring closure for Sasuke, or break him.

-xXx-

Sasuke walked through the rubble of the old Uchiha district, eyes unseeing. He was losing control. It had been so hard to not let the memories wash back over him in Tsunade's office when he realized what was going on. But now they were crashing through him. His memories of that night, when his life had shattered. The images that had been recorded by his own eyes. The false memories Itachi had first imprinted in his mind. Then finally, the real ones Itachi had shared at the end. His clan. His parents. His brother.

All dead.

Sasuke felt a wave of nausea wash over him, and realized his hands were shaking slightly. He couldn't control his mind. He couldn't push the images away.

He stumbled up the steps to his house, fumbled with the door. He finally made it inside, closing the door behind him, leaning against it, panting.

Danzo's seal. Naruto had been injured by a seal Danzo had placed to kill the person who touched it. Naruto… had been searching through Danzo's things.

Somewhere outside the village, because Sasuke himself had searched through every piece of rubble that Danzo and the council members had left behind and found nothing.

The mission.

Naruto must have found a hide-out of Danzo's. One that hadn't been destroyed. Naruto's missions, the ones he had been going on over the past three months. Coming home exhausted and chakra depleted. He had been hunting for evidence of something. It didn't take a genius to know what that something likely was. All this time, Naruto must have been looking for proof that Itachi had acted under Danzo's orders. And the council. And if Naruto had touched something that Danzo had deemed important enough to put a seal like that on it…

He had found it.

Sasuke's hands were shaking. He clenched them into fists, feeling his nails cutting into the palms of his hands. He felt like he couldn't breathe, and he stumbled into the bathroom and emptied his stomach.

He brushed his fingers over his eyes, the anguish of the fact that they were all that was left of his brother, of his family, of his clan. The hate he felt, the rage at the injustice and the deception of it all rose up and choked him. His stomach heaved again.

Naruto had found proof that Danzo had ordered the death of his clan. Proof that Itachi was not the monster that everyone called him.

But it was also proof that Sasuke had killed Itachi… for nothing. His vengeance against Itachi had been a trick. One he should have seen through? One that Danzo had ordered. One that Itachi had wanted as well. To end it.

Sasuke gripped the rim of the basin, wishing he could relive killing Danzo as many times as he had had to relive the horror of the memories of all the things that man had brought down on him.

His brother had committed that act… for Sasuke. To save him. And Sasuke… had, in turn, killed Itachi for it. Even if it was in the end what Itachi had wanted, had planned… the guilt of it was still crushing.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could close out the images. He needed relief. The burden was too much. He needed the thoughts and memories to stop. Just for a while.

Sasuke stumbled to the kitchen, grabbing the jar that would wipe his mind clean, if only for a bit. Make the shaking stop. Naruto would be by later, and he needed to be back in control.

-xXx-

Naruto didn't know why he felt like he had to hurry, but he threw his pack together as quickly as humanly possible. Something was wrong with Sasuke. He had been able to tell by the emotionless, empty expression on his face when they parted. He was sure that Sasuke must have figured out what Naruto's missions had been about. But he hadn't asked any questions about it.

Naruto had a slightly panicky feeling that Sasuke would leave without him if he had the chance. Not bothering with the streets, Naruto raced along the rooftops to get to Sasuke as quickly as possible.

He knocked on the door, expecting Sasuke to throw him out, or at least yell at him for coming so soon.

He was surprised when he heard Sasuke's voice calmly tell him to come in.

Naruto entered, again having the feeling that something was off with his friend. Less than an hour ago, Sasuke had looked to be almost in shock with what he had found out, his body rigid with tension, his face frozen and hard. But now... he was simply seated at his kitchen table, looking oddly relaxed.

Naruto glanced around the kitchen, but everything seemed in place.

"Uh… Sasuke? Are you… feeling ok?"

Sasuke looked over at him, his eyes half-lidded and almost sleepy looking. "Hn," he said, standing and walking to the living room, clearly expecting Naruto to follow. Used to reading his opponent's body language, Naruto eyed Sasuke's movements. The lethal grace was still there, but somehow it seemed… softened. Slowed.

Naruto frowned slightly. He wondered if Sasuke had just bottled it all back inside him, but that didn't seem quite right either. He seemed to be just honestly… relaxed. There was something about the severity of the mood swing that didn't seem natural. Didn't seem possible.

Sasuke sat back on the folded futon, lounging against the cushions there, his legs spread slightly apart with negligent grace.

Images of the night before shot through Naruto's mind, and he mentally kicked himself. His arm was being slowly consumed by some stupid seal that Danzo had left behind, and his best friend was being forced to confront the event that had destroyed his life. This was not the time to be thinking about sex.

"So are you going to tell me what you found?" Sasuke asked, arching a brow.

Naruto hesitated. He knew that there would be Anbu following them more closely now after they had basically forced themselves into the Hokage tower this morning. Many of the Anbu had expressed concern to both Naruto and Tsunade that Sasuke was too dangerous to be allowed to roam freely in the village.

They couldn't be allowed to hear this conversation. He knew they would report his actions back to Tsunade, but after her actions this morning, he had a feeling that she would understand. Naruto's hands moved stiffly in a set of seals that Tsunade had showed him which ensured that no one could listen in on their conversation. He noted that Sasuke had activated his sharingan when he did it, clearly memorizing the pattern, though Naruto had done it so slowly due to his injured hand that Sasuke probably hadn't needed to.

"I found the order. Signed by Danzo and the council," Naruto said, watching Sasuke closely for his reaction.

Sasuke blinked, and a shudder wracked the pale body. But Sasuke simply nodded.

"And what did the order say?" Sasuke asked, his voice calm. Naruto noticed the pale fingers clench fractionally against the mattress of the futon.

"It said…." Naruto licked his lips nervously, not sure how to say this except to just get it out. He couldn't begin to imagine what was going through Sasuke's head right now. Despite the carefully controlled expression, Naruto could read the swirl of hatred, guilt and anguish in the dark eyes. "It said that they ordered Itachi to carry out a pre-emptive strike against the Uchiha clan. Danzo and the council made the call that a direct negotiation would be too risky, and would tip their hand that they were aware of the plot. They decided not to risk losing the advantage of surprise. They believed..." Naruto trailed off and swallowed, hardly able to force the words out describing what had been done. "... they believed that the Uchiha leaders would never expect them to act without at least attempted negotiations first. They saw this fact as a benefit, as it increased Itachi's chance of success despite the fact that Itachi was already under suspicion by the clan."

Sasuke sat for a moment. "So Danzo and the council didn't even try to negotiate, or mediate, or even just imprison them all."

Naruto met Sasuke's gaze directly. He would not sugar coat this. If he was going to be Hokage, he would start with owning the mistakes of the past, even if they weren't his. "No. And if Itachi had disagreed, they were planning to kill him before he could warn the clan. They agreed that as long as Itachi left the village and no word of the order were ever found out, they would allow a single Uchiha child to live."

Sasuke stared off into the corner of the room. "Me."

Naruto nodded. "Yes."

They sat in silence for a few moments, Sasuke clearly digesting what Naruto had said.

"And Itachi joining the Akatsuki?"

Naruto looked down at his hand, noticing vaguely that it was slightly darker than it was an hour ago despite Tsunade's best efforts. "There was another order, inserting him into the Akatsuki. He reported back, including his own crimes."

Sasuke's head jerked up at that. "There are reports from Itachi?"

Naruto hesitated. "Some." He struggled with how much he should say. Sasuke deserved to know about the information he had found on the Uchiha clan that cleared Itachi. Even if he'd had to go against Tsunade's orders, he would have told his friend.

Naruto could tell that Sasuke wanted to ask to see them. To know what it was his brother had been forced to do. Had been willing to do. Naruto had read them, and it had made his blood run cold. He wanted to protect Sasuke from that knowledge if he could. "Itachi didn't try to cover up his own actions. Danzo had known what it would take for Itachi to be a respected enough member of the Akatsuki for Nagato to discuss anything with him."

Sasuke felt bile rise in his throat as the thought of the brother that had not even wanted to kill the wild boar that had been tearing up the crops when he was a child. Even the drugs weren't able to keep his mind from spiraling down into his memories again.

Naruto saw the desolate expression on Sasuke's face. It hurt to see Sasuke hurting. Naruto's hand clenched over his stomach, wishing he could do something. But there was nothing to be done. Some wrongs could never be made right.

He thought maybe distracting Sasuke would be the best bet. "It's almost a full day's journey. We should head out soon. Have you had a chance to pack?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto for a moment, then stood and moved wordlessly to his bedroom. He pulled out his pack and began neatly folding a change of clothes and a few items that he would need on their short trip.

Naruto sighed. He wished this were easier. He wished he knew the right thing to do. Maybe Sasuke really wasn't up to this. Tsunade had stabilized Naruto's hand, mostly. Maybe Sasuke could just tell him where to go. Though Naruto wasn't the best person for doing research and knowing what books or scrolls would be relevant. Sasuke would probably laugh if Naruto offered to go alone. They both knew that he would be pretty much clueless as to what to look for. Most of what Naruto had learned had been through battle and training, not research.

Naruto watched Sasuke as he searched through a small weapons cabinet by his bed. He could see the pale hands shake slightly. This wasn't right. He wouldn't make Sasuke do this. "Actually, Sasuke, I just realized that - if you tell me where to go - I can just have Tsunade send a message for Sai to meet me there directly. You wouldn't need to make the trip right now. Danzo taught Sai a lot of the fuijutsu he knew, and Sai did a bunch research on his own as well. He could help me figure out if Orochimaru has anything that could help."

Sasuke's hands stilled on the set of shuriken he was about to place in his pack. A mental image of Naruto sucking Sai off flashed through his mind. The anger that spiked through him at that visual pushed the anguish aside temporarily. He turned slowly to look at Naruto, trying to decide whether his katana was close enough to use, or if he should just fireball Naruto's ass. Luckily for Naruto, the blond's expression was as transparent as always, blue eyes looking at Sasuke full of worry and sympathy. The sympathy part had Sasuke wanting to reach for the handle of his katana again, but he suddenly realized he had a much better idea.

He needed to block out the things he was feeling. He had been struggling to keep his emotions under control. Usually the drugs wiped his mind clean. But this time the memories were just too strong. He needed something that could make him forget. Casually, Sasuke closed his pack and set it on the floor, then leaned against the wall.

"Well, if you wanted to go to the library at the hideout with Sai, I suppose could use the time go and ask Orochimaru directly. I think I know where he is likely to be these days," Sasuke smirked, already seeing the look of shock on Naruto's face morphing to anger, with an edge of jealousy. "He told me he would always be interested to see me again, regardless of the circumstances."

"W-what?! Sasuke are you out of your fucking mind? That guy has been _literally_ after your body since you were twelve years old. Did you _see_ his tongue hanging out when he watched you during the battle with Madara and the juubi?"

Sasuke shrugged with a casual grace, already feeling his adrenaline starting to build. Naruto wasn't really that hard to understand, now that Sasuke had realized the nature of Naruto's obsession with him. He knew what Naruto wanted from him now. It was convenient, because Sasuke wanted the same thing. All he needed to do was to push Naruto to act on the darker side of his obsession. The side that had always been there, but had been disguised and friendship and team loyalty. Sasuke was drawn by the darkness he read easily in Naruto's eyes now. How had it taken him so long to recognize it?

Sasuke tilted his head to the side, noticing how Naruto's gaze slid down his bared neck at the motion. "So? Lots of people have wanted me, Naruto. Even you, evidently. Orochimaru is a powerful ally to have. If I ask him, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help."

Naruto felt anger surge through him. Sasuke was comparing him to Orochimaru now?

Before he even knew what he was doing, Naruto was across the room, his hand lashing out and slamming Sasuke back against the wall. "I am nothing like Orochimaru, you asshole. And you are _not_ going to go to him again, Sasuke. Just because he helped us during the war to save his own skin doesn't mean he won't jump that the chance to take yours if you give him an opportunity," Naruto leaned in, letting his words brush against Sasuke's ear. "I'm not weak like I was the first time you left, Sasuke. I can keep you from going this time."

Sasuke felt a dark surge of lust and triumph as Naruto pinned him against the wall, blue eyes darkened with possessive anger. Sasuke glanced down to where his own kunai was pressed against Naruto's throat, and ran his tongue along his lower lip in anticipation.

"What's the matter, Naruto. Weren't you just saying you'd rather go with Sai, anyway?"

Naruto's fingers flexed convulsively around Sasuke's biceps, realizing that he'd been played. He felt Sasuke press his blade against his throat, and his cock surged to life. He laughed darkly at his own weakness. It really shouldn't surprise him that the threat of violence from Sasuke turned him on. "You're really a bastard, you know that, Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't bother replying. He fisted his free hand into Naruto's hair, bringing their mouths together. He needed this. The heat between them that could burn away all thoughts of pasts or futures.

For one moment, Naruto was still against him, and Sasuke feared that Naruto would pull away. He groaned in relief a second later as he felt a shudder run through Naruto before the blond was driving a leg between Sasuke's thighs and kissing him back as though the fate of the village hung in the balance.

Sasuke threw the kunai knife to the side, ignoring the 'thunk' as it embedded into the side of his weapons chest.

-xXx-

_to be continued…_

**NOTE:** If you found the sex in Deception 'too rough' please stop reading this fic now. Don't read the next chapter then complain about it. These are two mentally unstable ninjas (killers), one of whom is angry and the other of whom is high. If this isn't your thing then PLEASE STOP READING this story.


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